Some of you may have noticed the appearance of a number of Huub logos around the beach of late. The Huub Capsule – not to be confused with a wetsuit – is the latest phase in the ongoing race to invent ways to be able to enter the sea, choose a destination and arrive there shortly afterwards with a minimum of effort.
Huubing is significantly different from old-school swimming – but some new Huubers are unaware of this. It was when I noticed one Huuber in the sea moving his arms and legs that I realised he was unaware of key Huub vs Swim points. Thus, in the inimitable style of LoneSwimmer, I felt a helpful “How To” post on this site might be beneficial.
The Huub experience begins outside the water, with the Insertion or Injection stage, when the passenger is inserted/injected into the Huub Capsule. This process is not dissimilar to making sausages or black pudding. Indeed, the look of the passenger in the Capsule once insertion is completed may bring to mind a large bit of Clonakilty Black.
The Insertion stage often requires assistants. Teams of trained Inserters are available in Myrtleville – known as Huuber Helpers. Unlike old-fashioned “wetsuits”, the Huub Capsule wears the passenger, not the other way around. Thus Insertion / Injection is required, rather than “putting on”.
James Slowey being inserted into his Huub by the C&G Huuber Helper Insertion Team. No idea what the gang-rapper hand signals are about.
Kieran Murphy quite enjoying his Insertion by the AB Huuber Helper team.
Such is the complexity and arduousness of the Insertion stage that delusions of grandeur can overwhelm the Huub Capsule Passenger simply on completion of Insertion.
‘I’m Huubed up! Nothing can stop me now. I look so good I’ll wear it running too – with my laces open – and I won’t trip.’
Indeed, for some new Huubers, just semi-insertion into the Capsule can lead to overwhelming euphoria.
‘Feck the top half – I’ll be like a rocket with just my legs in!’
Once Inserted in the Capsule, the Huuber enters the sea. This is where the difference between Huubing and Swimming takes over. In swimming, co-ordinated movement of the arms and legs and engagement of the core are key success factors. In Huubing, the passenger must do as little as possible to impede the movement of the Huub Capsule through the water. The only thing that must be engaged is the Capsule’s internal propulsion system, which starts as soon as it gets wet.
Thus, for Huubers, moving your body at all is absolutely frowned upon, apart from occasional breaths and sighting (expensive models have pre-programmable GPS so you can do away with the sighting too). The Huuber must simply enter into the position shown below with arms extended over their head, point in the right direction and the Huub will do the rest.
Huub positioning – demonstrated by the Norseman himself.
Any extraneous movements by the passenger (previously known as taking swimming strokes) will cause the Capsule to slow down. So – lie down, reach out and let the Capsule do the work.
It’s too late to work on this required Huub positioning once you enter the sea. At that point the Capsule will just take off. Put it in water and it just flies. If you’re not prepared it can start off and you’ll be thrown off your feet.
An unprepared passenger as the Huub Capsule engaged once it touched water. Note that his left arm positioning is completely wrong for Huubing.
It’s a good idea to get in a bit of practice on the positioning out of the water, as shown below by a Huuber and his Helper. Unlike the Insertion Helper, this is a different kind of helper, known as the Hoiker. Hoikers hoik Huubers up to prepare them for the weightless feeling of doing nothing, which they will encounter once the Capsule hits the water.
A Huuber working on his positioning with a Huuber Hoiker Helper. Again, work needed on that left arm.
I hope this “How To” has been helpful for current and future Huubers. Just get yourself inserted and let it rip. You won’t even break sweat.
I would also like to point out that – despite what you might think – none of these pictures were staged for this article (bar one – thanks, Mr. Norseman). They did all of that stuff themselves in what passes for normality at Myrtleville beach.