Elvis – and The Hat

Travelling continues for our cultural icon – a tour of the USA recently: seeking Elvis in The Promised Land.

The Hat at Graceland.

The Hat at Graceland.

Finding he’d left the building, our hero moved on to other old stomping grounds for the King – Viva Las Vegas.

A worldwide cultural icon and the Caesar's Palace sign in Vegas.

A worldwide cultural icon and the Caesar’s Palace sign in Vegas.

It’s tiring work all this travelling, so relaxation beckoned in Marbella – you should try it – if you’ve Never been to Spain.

Marbella - time to relax.

Marbella – time to relax.

Hope the Elvis fans liked that one….as the King said – thank you very much.

Vampire Swim. October 31.

Vampire Swim

On October 31st, probably midday, Myrtleville will host one of the international Vampire Swims.

Some details at the link below and our swim will be added to the list shortly.


The plan is to tie in the swim with giving blood within the six weeks before the date. More details to follow, but diary this now!

Aisling Barry is organising, so if you want to help I’m sure she will be glad to hear from you!

Myrtle Turtles announce media rights deal

At a press conference this morning, the Myrtle Turtles Channel Relay Team announced the selection of http://www.myrtlevilleswimmers.com as their worldwide media partner.  The battle for media rights had reached fever pitch, but this announcement means the team can now focus on training and I can focus on making things up about the training.

The scene at the Myrtle Turtles press conference this morning.

The scene at the Myrtle Turtles press conference this morning.

The team is guided and managed by Maeve Mulcahy and made up of Anne Sheehy, Eilish Leader, Ros O’Brien, Caitriona Kehily and a token male, Eoin Lowry (only selected due to gender quotas).

Picture with thanks to Kieran Murphy.

Picture with thanks to Kieran Murphy.

Their Channel slot is the first slot July 10-18, 2016.  We’ll provide more details on the boat etc. later.  The team will be fundraising for Marymount Hospice and the Irish Kidney Association.

While a Facebook page is planned, the real facts (or interpretations of what might or might not be facts) behind the whole adventure will be found here, EXCLUSIVELY.

Good luck to all of the famous five.  This is going to be fantastic 🙂

Channel Cake event.

The battle of the Channel Cakes took place over the weekend, as Trevor & Nicola Malone had a BBQ to thank the large crew who helped Trevor during his Channel preparations and swim.  All entrants were eaten, so it was declared a draw.

Just to note, Siobhan Russell wasn’t there, so the quality of lots of the pictures is pure crap.  I took them.

Trevor with daughter, Cliodhna supervising the cake cutting.

Trevor with daughter, Cliodhna supervising the cake cutting.

Trevor got several gifts to mark the occasion – a black sheep from Eilis for not telling her he was representing Myrtleville rather than some place down West.– very cool superhero togs, which he’s been wearing since.– a book to fill in all the spare time he now has.  Carol prepared it on behalf of the Carlsberg Crew as a log of the swim.  It’s 543 pages long, without appendices or pictures.  Once he’s finished reading it, Trevor hopes to have time to go for a swim again some time in 2016.

A nice occasion to mark a great achievement.  Onwards and upwards for the Malone family 🙂

Edging Insanity with the #carlsbergcrew – My English Channel Swim – 3

Final Part of Trevor Malone’s Channel story.  Part 1.  Part 2.

So, this particular feed is done, Carol is out and it was a tougher hour than expected but it doesn’t matter, it’s behind me and now the focus will be on slide and glide, rhythm, breathing deep and getting the body completely relaxed. No such luck, Liam tells me he needs a power hour from me. This turns out to be the second critical hour of the swim. I don’t argue, I let it sink in, he’s telling me for a reason and I don’t want to let him down. I remember thinking this is the start of it, now I need to start really fighting, inside I need to know how long I’m going to be fighting for – 1hr, 2 hrs or more. I’m looking up constantly trying to gauge the distance, impossible but I need to justify it in my head. I hear Liam roaring at me again, STOP LOOKING, DON’T LOOK AGAIN.

I drive on, I’m at 80% and manage to hold it at that. I focus on a spot on the side of the boat but I’m very conscious of Ken and Liam on deck clapping, cheering waving me on. Liam asks me to kick. He’s motioning with his hands. Coach and Ned always talk about the critical hour of a swim …. this has to be it. Normally I don’t use my legs, don’t even have a two beat kick but I start kicking. I’m going to give them the hour they want. Ken and Liam still clapping and waving me on. Liam gets a message to me that he can see calm waters 500ms ahead; I need to break though the current then it’ll be easier swimming. It’s really tough now, it must be around the 12th hour but I’m really up for it now, totally focused on cutting through the water. I start clocking my distance in 25m slots. I’m exhausted but strangely enough I don’t feel like I’m going slow, I’m getting through it and Liam was right. Water calms right down. Unfortunately it doesn’t stay like this for long and a chop returns. There’s just no end to it.DCIM100GOPRO

The cliffs in front don’t seem to be getting closer but land has started to close in on my right and left sides. It feels like I’m in a bay and now I’m starting to get annoyed. My head is telling me we are close but the land in front of me is not getting any closer. It’s closing in on both side of me but not getting closer in front of me. We could have gone either left or right to shorten the distance but feels like the pilot wants to take me to the furthest point. The sun has set, will be dark soon and those cliffs are still not any closer.

I’m no longer fighting with my body; it’s now a constant fight with my mind. Darkness creeps in and from the corner of my eye I see a shadow at the back of the boat. It must be Carol. She must be in for another hour. She throws my spare goggles with night light at me and tells me to put them on. I’m slow to react, for some reason I don’t want to lose the googles I currently have on. She must have noticed the confusion on my face and tells me to put the ones I have on in my togs. I’m happy with this. A bit silly really, I’m not even finished and my goggles already have sentimental value. Then I realise she is not the only one in the water. Liam and Ken are next to me.20150801_212325

The next 20 minutes are so amazing, emotional, and very vivid and will stay with me forever. Ken calls my name, he’s the first to tell me, “Trevor …you’ve done it, Trevor… you’ve done it”. It sinks in. My body completely crashes, all the fight is gone, feels like there is absolutely nothing left. I swim off and Liam calls me, I’m going in the wrong direction, he tells me the other way and tells me “we are going in”. I can’t believe it. I was expecting to swim on for another hour or so and they are telling me it’s almost over. I don’t know if I want to laugh or cry. It’s a bit of both.

I could sense emotions were very high for all four of us but after being told I did it, the body has completely given up. Carol says swim to the moon. I look round and there in front of us is a full moon that has just appeared over the coastline in front of us. The water is now flat calm and the moon was lighting the way into the beach. I didn’t notice any of this beforehand as it was all on my left side and I only breathe to my right. We all move forward together. What a feeling, heading to a French beach and all of my crew are with me. We are going to experience this as a team. I kept telling them beforehand there is no such thing as a Solo Swim and we proved that today.

I’m barely able to throw one arm in front of the other now. I’m just so conscious of all three of them around me. Ken is on my left, Liam is on my right and Carol is outside of him. I can clearly see Carol swimming with her head up and eyes still on swimmer, unbelievable. I’m now laughing to myself and telling myself over and over “You’ve done it, You’ve done it”. It’s so amazing, I can clearly see a beach with the moon in the background. Then all of a sudden Liam is standing and shouting that he can stand. He’s telling me to stand but I keep swimming. I’m reaching deeper and deeper with each stroke. Liam is now ecstatic, shouting and hollering. Sheer joy, I’m so happy for him. He tells me afterwards that he was shouting his time at me (he beat me by 2 minutes on his Channel Swim; we’ll get years of banter from that one).

My strength is back, the beach is just metres away and my left hand touches sand. I keep swimming and dig each hand into the sand each time it comes around, laughing all the way. I can no longer swim so I stand up and literally sprint onto the beach leaving them all behind me, I can see Carol checking her watch. The time doesn’t matter; it hasn’t for the last 6hrs, all that matters is we’ve done it. I didn’t stop running until I was completely clear of water and then I’m shouting and screaming. We are all hollering under the moon on a French beach. Liam comes running up and picks me up with a massive bear hug, Ken joins in followed by Carol. All four of us hug, I’m laughing and crying at the same time. I’ll never forget that moment. The dream was to walk onto a French beach but the memory is of four friends hugging having achieved the dream.

The tricolour appears and I hold it over my head. What an amazing feeling. We’ve truly edged insanity, I’ve swam across the English Channel with the #carlsbergcrew.20150802_022457

Edging Insanity with the #carlsbergcrew – My English Channel Swim – 2

Part 2 of Trevor Malone’s Channel Swim story.  Part 1 is here.

As I’m swimming into the beach there’s absolutely no nerves, stroke feels really comfortable and I’m just concentrating on one thing now. However the feeling I had when swimming Zurich has started to creep in. I knew this would happen so this is what I have to fight. It’s going to be all mind games from here on in. I climb out onto the stones on Shakespeare beach. I start telling myself what Coach Eilis said: you’ll walk in from one beach, walk out at another with a bit of a swim in-between, no big deal. I raise both arms and wave back to my crew. I’m feeling great and walk back in and start swimming. DCIM100GOPRO

Four strokes in and the strap on my watch comes loose, can’t help but smile. I fix it while just kicking and just carry on. As I’m getting closer to the boat the heart starts to race and now I need to stay calm. I’m focusing on not going out hard and I keep telling myself to enjoy it, this is what I’ve been training for. There were two other boats (possibly a 3rd) that started with us. I’m trying to stay calm, trying not to swim hard just find my rhythm and that’ll give me the pace I need. I’m very conscious of the boats ahead of me off to the right so I concentrate on reeling them in.

The first few hours are not enjoyable, struggled to find my rhythm and I have a pain in my chest (I’m stressed) so I need to figure out what’s wrong. I realise later I was worried about my feeds. Zurich all over again. I knew I would be good for at least four hours but after that I was expecting to get sick. Feeding

Coming up to the three hour mark I was expecting to see Carol getting ready on board to join me, no sign of this happening so this adds to overall uncomfortable feeling. I tell myself one more hour and she’ll be in. Still can’t get my rhythm and I know I’m not coming across as being happy for the previous 3 feeds. My responses were I’m Ok just feeling a little tired. It feels like the boat is drifting right all the time and I’m beckoned back continuously. This is a little irritating as I don’t think it’s me that’s drifting. I don’t complain about it. I just do what the crew tells me every time. I’ve 100% trust in them. They know what they are doing, they are there for me. I need to get my head right for them. This situation needs to change soon and it does. Carol is in. During my 20sec feed, I get a direct instruction from her to get on her shoulder, straight to the point and we are off.DCIM100GOPROBoat is still drifting right so it’s not me. It’s no longer a concern from here on in, doesn’t bother me anymore, it just something that I have to react to every now and again, two to three strokes and position is corrected. Within 2 – 3minutes of Carol joining me, I’m completely relaxed; I can feel the stroke stretching, pace has picked up. The rhythm is there and it feels so good and easy. The head is in a much better place. I’m just gliding along. I notice several people standing on deck watching us (the pilot, his 2 crew members have joined Ken, Liam and the observer). Looks like they are enjoying the swim and I’m finally starting to enjoy it too. 20150801_134424 (2)

All the happy thoughts coming flooding in. These are picked especially to keep me in the moment. I spend the next couple of minutes thinking about Riana’s good wishes message “Enjoy every minute, and don’t stop swimming”, I come back to it time and time again for the remainder of the swim. My mind-set has completely changed during this hour swim with Carol. So many happy thoughts, (especially for the next 5-6 hours), my wife(Nic) and kids, my nan’s smiling face, walking up that beach at the other end of this swim. I’m filled with a sense of pride for Coach, Liam and Ned. Remembering those personal conversations with each one of them. Coach’s motto going around and around in my head: you are going to get in at one beach, get out at another and have a little bit of a swim in between. Makes me smile every time. I draw on all those endless hours in the pool trying to stay in the moment; not thinking ahead or back, just staying in the moment, getting on the edge of my comfort zone, becoming so in tune with my body, deep relaxed breathing, my four stoke count, focusing on gliding forward, no resistance, forward momentum that requires no energy, heightened awareness of my body and the four strokes start all over again and again and again. Feeling my body becoming so light in the water, the less I try the faster I go, huge forward momentum, feels like I’m reaching forward to move forward. Repetition, repetition, repetition. All that along with short bursts of my happy thoughts (Nic and the kids smiling faces) is what got me through the swim.  With the hour up, Carol is back on the boat. I’m much happier at the feeds and I can sense relief in Liam’s body language and how he communicates with me. DCIM100GOPRO

The feeds are brief but there’s nothing but encouragement from Liam. He has it all in hand. This drives me on even more; everything now has such a feel good factor about it. Ken is more visible on the side of the boat, waving, clapping, and cheering. The team effort is so uplifting, they are there for me and it’s driving me on. I make the effort for two thumbs up at feeds from here on in. As brief as the feeds are I’m getting a real kick out of them. At one particular feed, Carol shouts to me Nic is no longer favoriting but she is now tweeting and it cracks me up. I’m grinning from ear to ear as I’m swimming along. I know Nic and the kids are back at home, tracking every second and I’m absolutely loving it. Not even the jellies in the Separation Zone can burst my bubble. I’m in and out in around 50 minutes (3 stings on my back, one either side of my neck and all of my left arm) and 20 minutes later the stings are forgotten about.

Carol doesn’t get back in when I expected her to. It doesn’t bother me, I know the crew have it all in hand and they have a plan. It’s a simple thought and easily justified in my head. Conditions have started to change, it’s getting a little bit choppy and by the time Carol gets back in, conditions are fun. The next hour is tough, it’s a power hour with Carol but I thrive on it, even though for the last 15 minutes I’m kind of hoping she’ll get out soon. Mentally I’m still in a really good place. Waves are getting higher but it’s another great swim with Carol. DCIM100GOPRO

It’s not until she’s getting out that I notice how bad conditions are. I’m on a feed and she is about to climb out. She screams encouragement, I look and the tail end of the boat drops by about 4 feet, misses her head by inches and crashes into the water. No bothers to her and she’s up onto the back of the boat in seconds. All I can think of now is distance week with Ned and climbing waves that were 20 feet high. I can see him next to me shouting and screaming and just absolutely loving it and I just feed off this memory. I’ve never been so happy to swim in such crap conditions. I just plough on and get creamed by a wave every now and again. I can see Ken at the side of the boat and I know he’s thinking lucky bastard! – Ken loves to swim in these conditions.

20150801_165031 (2)

Crew is asking me to swim closer to the boat now for shelter. It’s funny watching them struggle on board. I can literally see half the underside of the boat as it rocks my side to side. There’s one brief moment where I’m tempted to stop and hold out my arms pretending to catch them in case they fall overboard. It’s now 2 metre swells, 40 knots wind against tide and I’m still happy out. It’s an all-out battle now; at no point do I think I’m not going to make it. Time is no longer relevant, doesn’t matter at all, it’s all about making it to that French beach.

However, by the time Carol gets in for a third time the conditions are starting to drain me. I’m conscious of the speed for the previous two times she was in and how I was able to get in the zone. Not sure what this hour is going to be like and as soon as she is next to me I tell her I have no speed left. She turns and looks me in the eye and says: I don’t want speed from you, I just want steady, give me steady for 1 hour. This is probably the 1st negative thought I’ve had in the last 5hrs, but Carol is on cue again and her reassuring tone and straight to the point request has me focused on task on hand. I know she knows I’m tired and she’s there to get me through the next hour. DCIM100GOPRO

This is probably the 1st of two critical hours that eventually makes my swim. Focus is on steady, but we are both being absolutely battered so rhythm is slow to build. Flashbacks to Sandycove and Ned climbing those waves. Then I remember the rough swims with Bernard in Myrtleville. I convince myself the Channel is nothing compared to those training sessions. I now have 3 points of focus to stay in a moment to make the crap conditions seem easy: Carol who is next to me, Ned & myself swimming uphill and Bernard & myself getting creamed every 5 – 6 strokes swimming back from the Dutchman. The hour passes really quickly and before I know it I’m on another feed and Carol is getting out. She tells me next time she’s in we’ll be heading in. It doesn’t make sense, the mind is definitely getting tired now and for some reason I think, grand, 1 hour to go maybe 1.5hrs and I look up to take it all in. I know in my own heart that it’s 2 – 3hrs but I’m happier with the 1st thought. Liam roars at me to stop looking but I can’t help it. I want to remember the moment, I want to convince myself I’m almost there and I want to be on that beach.

Final Part in a couple of days.

Edging Insanity with the #carlsbergcrew – My English Channel Swim

We don’t often have long posts, but some things just deserve them.  Here is Part 1 of Trevor Malone’s very personal review of his successful English Channel Solo from 1 August.

It’s 27th of July and all the training is done but still feels like I need a few more months of hard training. It’s possibly a nervous reaction to tapering, never liked tapering. Channel year training started during the 2nd week Sept 2014 with Eilis and now it’s possibly 2-3 days before I get to swim the dream that I first thought about when I was 15yrs old.

After completing Gibraltar in July ’13 I just knew the Channel would happen. Ned Denison helped with organising my pilot (had also got great advice from Lisa Cummins, Rob Bohane and Carol Cashell). Slot was booked and Eilis agreed to train me (proviso was to do it for charity and to do what she asked me to do). It would be 21 months for 2.2 million meters of hard work fitted in around working shift. If I missed a session I had to make it up no matter what. Coach Eilis drilled this into me. Anytime we met first question was how was I feeling, second question was how much was I doing that day and third question (the one that everyone struggles with) was to check if I was on target for the month. For Coach, doing the mileage was number one priority and eating properly was priority number two.

As part of the build-up and preparation, swimming Lake Zurich proved a very valuable learning swim (both positive and negative). I didn’t get my feeding right but I managed to swim through both a mental and physical pain barrier I had never experienced before. Concern was; the positive will get you through certain points of the swim but the negative was a potentially show stopper. Bottom line was, I liked to swim on empty but this was not possible on a 12hr+ swim. I needed to get my feeds right.

The crew consisted of Liam Maher (swam Gibraltar with Liam and we all broke the Irish Record together – great memories of screaming at him with seconds to go to touch the rock ), Carol Cashel, (swim buddy, everyone’s friend and super competitor) and Ken Rodgers (long-time friend, trained for and swam Lake Zurich with him in 2014).

So anyway I get a call from Liam on the Monday 27th July and he tells me the pilot says there’s a good chance of swimming on Friday. I have to sit down for the remainder of the conversation, chills down the spine, goose bumps, and hair on end. I’m nervous but so pumped. It’s now really going to happen. This is the start of the positive mind-set towards the next few days. During the last few weeks of training coach focused a lot on getting my head ready. Everything was falling into place. I book flights for the crew and this is the last thing I had to do, my crew took over everything from here onwards.

If Carlsberg did crews...Liam, Ken and Carol with Trevor.

If Carlsberg did crews…Liam, Ken and Carol with Trevor.

When we land in London, Liam contacts Pilot and Saturday is confirmed as go. When we get to Dover, we drive in the far side through the town. Liam and Carol point everything out. We stop at Swimmers beach, I touch the Channel water with my hand for the first time and I’m buzzing. Clear blue skies and we can clearly see the French coast line. What a rush for all four of us. It was great to see my crew just as excited as me. I’m pretty much gone into the zone now, it’s nothing but visualising the swim from start to finish and how much I’m going to enjoy it in between. Simple thoughts – breathing every four, long stretching strokes, feeding off my swim buddy’s energy when she’s in, all the feeds going right, the French beach at the far side. Staying in the moment; not thinking ahead, not thinking back.

There are some demons but I’m trying hard to keep them out. When we get to Varne Ridge Campsite the emotions are high, Páraic’s plaque on the campsite is very visible and his bench is across the road looking out over the Channel. We visit the bench. Can’t imagine what is going through Liam’s head, but I’m torn up inside, I can see it on Ken and Carol’s faces also. What Liam is going to do for me in two days’ time is beyond all words. He’s going back to the same Channel with the same pilot just to help me achieve my goal. It’s been playing on my mind for the last few months. I have my own personal goal but I’m not going to let him down. Liam has naturally assumed a leadership role within the crew and uses the moment for motivating me and it works. Páraic’s bench in Sandy Cove has huge significance for a lot of swimmers. Sitting on his bench in Varne Ridge looking out over the channel was just so emotional.

The day before the big swim, we all swim in Dover Harbour. I wear the swim gear I’m going to have on the next day. This includes my Myrtleville hat. Some more mind games for myself. I’ve worn the hat once before (in Myrtleville of course), this is the second time so tomorrow will be the 3rd time (lucky number 3). The hat is linking me to being the 1st Myrtleville swimmer to swim the Channel. Moonrock and back, flat house and back, Fountainstown and back and the odd trip out to the Dutchman, it’s all behind me now. Carol, Liam, Eddie, Bernard and Orls all in support. Long swims with Bernard and the local seals. All the attempted long swims with Bernard that had to be eventually abandoned, weather always acted up but looking back now it was a godsend. The one or two hour swims that we did slog it out would stand to me towards the end of my Channel swim.TrevorCoach phones that night, emotions are high; she knows where I’m at and I know what this means to her, it’s a very reassuring chat. She has a bit of a wrap sense of humour though; she tells me I’m going to get in at one beach and get out at another and there’ll be a bit of a swim in between. I can’t remember how many times I tell myself this when I’m swimming across.

The morning of the swim the nerves kick in. Crew are in full control of everything, they’ve packed everything we needed the night before and ensured everything ran like clockwork that morning. I’m too nervous to hang around so I go across to Páraic’s bench. Flash backs to Ned’s motivating speeches and how moved he is every time he talks about Páraic. It’s like he’s right in front of me telling me to visualise myself walking up onto that French beach. It’s all starting to get to me; I need to be with my crew so I head back. I’m back with them and all of a sudden I’m completely overwhelmed. I just fall to pieces. Liam steps up and gets me through the moment. The fear I felt moments earlier is gone. I just knew after swimming Gibraltar with Liam that I had to have him on my crew; the role that he played for the next 14hrs puts me forever in his debt. Main motivator is how the observer described him (last person to hug me leaving Varne Ridge but he would be the first to hug me when we reach the French Beach).

Before I know it I’m standing opposite ‘Optimist’, my boat. I’m no longer nervous, just completely focus on what lies ahead, everything is now so positive in my head. We bump into Trent Grimsby (Channel World record holder, whom we met the night before) and he wishes me good luck and jokes about getting back in time so he can get out early the next morning with his relay team – he’s booked with the same pilot.


There’s no hanging about, we board and we’re straight into the safety briefing. Then the pilot drops a bombshell regarding support swimmer. He wants to know why would I want a support swimmer, he doesn’t like the idea and thinks they cause too much disruption. I’m watching Carol and she gives nothing away, she has a look on her face that tells me she will be in the water with me as planned and pilot won’t be stopping that. This is the reassurance I need. Everyone who knows Carol knows (besides her genuine friendship) how focused, professional and giving she is when it comes to swimming. Absolutely nothing is missed and she knows what Paul the pilot has just said to me is a ticking bomb. How she handles the situation is just amazing, she knows what could have happened and is in full control, this is my swim buddy, and she made sure nothing was going to distract me. Prior to this year, swimming in cold water (for me anything below 14C) was not enjoyable; with Carol I was doing 1hr swims at 10C. Swimming with Carol was almost effortless, we’d get into a rhythm and distance and pace were never a problem. Parts of some sea sessions I was able to breathe every 6, totally relaxed inside, able to feed off her energy. I get into a comfort zone that reassures me when we are training that if I’m in trouble going across, Carol will be there and that will get me through it. I’ll just slip into the positive zone and we’ll fly along. Back on board the Optimist, I’m in the zone; we’re going to have a great swim.

We’re just minutes away from the start, Ken is sitting next to me and we’re both really calm and relaxed. Chit chatting away, oblivious to the fact that I’m just about to try and swim across the English Channel. This is what Ken is all about, calm, relaxed and solid head. This is the guy that if I started moaning at any stage would just very calmly tell me to “shut up and just swim, it’s what you are here to do”. There is a friendship here that goes back a long way and adding to that we trained and swam Lake Zurich together in 2014. There’s no bullshit about this guy, he’s a rare breed when it comes to open water swimming. This year he turned up to do the 6hr swim at Ned’s distance camp (having only swam twice in the sea all year) and finished it with a smile on his face (approx 10 highly experienced marathon swimmers dropped out that day but no bothers to him, he was there to swim so he swam). I start to get ready and Ken looks after all my gear. Then he turns and says,” do ya know ..I’d love to get in and swim across”. He makes me feel so lucky. Here I am, with this great opportunity, he’s made me feel so relaxed, the mind-set was just perfect. I really couldn’t have asked for a better crew member.

We’re almost at Shakespeare beach, Liam applies sun block and greases me up (see pic below for how much he enjoyed it).


The short trip out is over and I’m ready to get in, the crew are buzzing and send me off on a complete high. 20150801_081456

I jump in. Water feels cold –  don’t care: I’m going to swim the English Channel.

Part 2 in a couple of days.

Roches Point to Ballycotton – Historical Revision

It’s with great disappointment that we have to announce that Liam Maher’s swim from Sunday must be stricken from the record books.  Following an objection from Bernard Lynch unnamed parties of blatant drafting, the Committee For The Consideration Of Spurious Complaints And Investigation Of Potentially Underhand Matters In Open Water Swimming (CFTCOSCAIOPUMIOWS) has ruled that the evidence favours the removal of Mr. Maher’s name from the roll of honour for this swim.

The committee ruling was supported by the following photographic evidence:

Liam arriving at the start of the swim. Just look at him - you'd know he was up to something.

Liam arriving at the start of the swim. Just look at him – you’d know he was up to something.

Experienced swim observers, witnessing the Maher arrival, were unimpressed. They could tell....

Experienced swim observers, witnessing the Maher arrival, were unimpressed. They could tell….

Liam had been honest about his lack of training during the Summer and the fact that the distance was daunting.  As the swim began, his strategy took shape.

"Clung to me, he was. Feckin' clung to me." an unnamed party was quoted as saying.

Liam, tow rope in place.  “Clung to me, he was. Feckin’ clung to me,” an unnamed party was quoted as saying.

More startling than the allegations of rampant, blatant, unapologetic drafting was the as yet unconfirmed report that Mr. Maher hopped out a few times and did his “swimming” on the support boat.  Who was that American one Donal said did that?


Liam…..Swimming…..Boatman washes his hands of the carry-on.

Right to the finish, the tow rope stayed in place.  Has the man no shame?  Well, maybe a bit….

Caught on camera as the enormity of the con he pulled off weighed down even his giant shoulders.

Caught on camera as the enormity of the con he pulled off weighed down even his giant shoulders.

The CFTCOSCAIOPUMIOWS ruling is final.  While representations on behalf of Mr. Maher were heard, the fact that the aggrieved unnamed party was wearing a Myrtleville Hat meant that whatever he said was taken as gospel and nobody listened to Liam.

The Revised Swim Success picture is below.


Revised Roll of Honour:  Cashell, C., Irwin, E., Maher. L., Lynch, B. (AKA Unnamed Party).

Well done to all three successful swimmers.