Cregan-Condon fraud – AGAIN!

Are there no depths to which the man won’t sink?  Last weekend, supposedly reformed master-criminal, Denis Cregan-Condon, was making himself out to be the best friend to all mankind, distributing “his” delicious mince pies to sundry, unsuspecting Myrtlevillians and others attending the Turkey Swim.

Open water, sea swimming in Cork, Ireland.

Beautiful mince pies – but look at him – would you trust this man?

Our intrepid reporters can now reveal that far from baking these delicious treats himself, Cregan-Condon received the pies from Myrtleville stalwart, Tom Bermingham and then “forgot” to mention this: while basking in the glory of being “THE mince pie man”.  SHAME ON YOU DENIS, SHAME!!

Our reporter visited the famed Bermingham bakery where further delicious pies were being made.  The rolling pin is ready for Mr. Cregan-Condon if he dares to show his face.

Open water, sea swimming in Cork, Ireland.

Master bakers, Kathy & Kathleen Bermingham – ready to help Denis see stars.

Denis leaves a trail of infamy behind him.  Watch out for him this weekend and don’t be fooled.  Mrs Bermingham wants her Roses tin back too, Denis.

Christmas Party: November 27, 2015

Breda Maguire is organising our Christmas night out (in November).   She’s jealously guarding the guest list, so if you want to go you can petition her nicely to be allowed (I made that up, absolutely everyone is welcome 🙂 )

It’s from 7.00pm in Goldberg’s on Friday, November 27th.  Please let Breda Maguire know by this Friday, 20th,  if you are attending – so she can give numbers to the venue.  No food, just juice drinks and healthy waters (that’s at Good Food Gary’s table) or lashings of pints (in the Cregan-Condon Corner).


Peaceful Patso Protest attacked by Myrtle Maniac

In a worrying escalation of the Patso vs. Myrtle campaign, Patso supporters were attacked at the weekend, while lawfully expressing their support for “The Furry One”.

Two campaigners – identified locally as “Marie de nurse” and “yer man, Kieran”, were handing out copies of the Patso Manifesto on Saturday morning, to the huge crowds of regular Myrtleville swimmers.


According to eye-witnesses, what happened next was shocking.  The Patso supporters were subjected to a violent attack by at least one highly-vocal Myrtle-ite.  “She came at them outta nowhere – screaming like a banshee she was, like a banshee!”  The attacker was swiftly removed from the scene, but a passing photographer (she passes that place a lot) caught the event on camera and charges may be pending.  

Image redacted to protect Anne Sheehy's identity.

Image redacted to protect Anne Sheehy’s identity.

The attacker is a known associate of the Cregan-Condon crime family and locals now fear an escalation in the campaign from both sides. We will monitor and report developments exclusively here.

Turtle Trouble!

Led by the PR-savvy swimming-guru, Maeve Mulcahy, all announcements thus far from the Myrtle Turtles Channel Relay Team have been positive, reflecting sweetness and light. Unfortunately, our correspondents have discovered that cracks are appearing in the team, even at this early stage.  The trouble stems from the choice of mascot, we are informed.

The first meeting initially went well, with standard press-release photos being taken and smiles all round.

The Myrtle Turtles - live and unplugged (and possibly unhinged...)

The Myrtle Turtles – live and unplugged (and possibly unhinged…)

The problems began when the mascot, Myrtle, was unveiled.  Here’s Myrtle, for those who haven’t met her.

Myrtle - controversial mascot of the Myrtle Turtles.

Myrtle – controversial mascot of the Myrtle Turtles.

While all of the ladies on the team were happy with the choice, strenuous objections were raised by the lone “gentleman”, Eoin Lowry.  Eoin insisted that his teddy, Patso, was a far more suitable choice as mascot.  (Patso is named after Eoin’s brother, Pat and Eoin briefly renamed him Fatso when Pat wasn’t doing much training last year.  However, Pat has gone back to work for his next Ironman, so it’s Patso again.)  Here’s Eoin with Patso.  _20151102_180152

Maeve tried repeatedly to explain the choice of a turtle called Myrtle as a mascot for a team called the Myrtle Turtles, but Eoin was having none of it.Screenshot_2015-11-02-17-29-07 (2)

At first, the other team members thought Eoin was joking, but reality dawned slowly._20151102_172018

A vote was taken, but Eoin and Patso were disappointed with the outcome, leaving the incumbent, Myrtle, in place as mascot.  Like John Perry in Sligo, Eoin has now spat the dummy and is demanding an open vote on the beach of all Turtle supporters.   Failing this, he says he’s recruiting his own team, willing to accept Patso as their rightful mascot.

You know, I’d have to say, while this blow-up may be a surprise to Maeve, Anne, Ros, Eilish and Caitriona, there were signs – if they’d looked for them – that having Eoin on any team could involve some unpredictable moments.

Eoin - chilling.

Eoin – just chillin’.

We await further developments in what could be a long-running saga.  Watch this space for exclusive updates.  Nobody knows, before we know….

Pictures courtesy of Siobhan Russell and Anne Sheehy.  Additional “reporting”, Kieran Murphy.

Global Hat tours continue

Like rust, the Hat never sleeps – crisscrossing the globe, as befits an international icon. Recent location shoots included Vietnam – with Cathriona Greally on Hoi An beach.

Cathriona GreallyEnjoying some quiet time on Ha Long Bay.Hoi An beach and Ha Long Bay

Seeking out water as warm as we find in Myrtleville – with Noreen Desmond in Iceland.

Noreen Desmond in Iceland

Lifestyles of the rich and famous – that’s life with the Hat (fame on this site, at least).

Vampire Swim Party

Well done to Aisling Barry and Marie Watson for organising the Vampire Swim on Saturday and making a party day of it.  With 75 swimmers, over €1,000 was raised and lots of blood was donated. Looks like ours was the largest of the worldwide swims – is there nothing we can’t do? 🙂

Vampire Swim, Open water, sea swimming in Cork, Ireland.

Vampire Swim: Myrtleville, Cork, Ireland: 31 October, 2015; 75 swimmers.

Fantastic efforts went in to the costumes and thanks to Katie Hill and Rob for their professional work on the makeup.  A great day and hopefully a new annual event.  It was a party to remember.




Organisers Aisling and Marie had, of course, to contend with the usual problems when you organise a children’s party – like people wanting to know if there was a party-bag if they swam and then thinking about it when they saw what was in the bag…

Open water, sea swimming in Cork, Ireland. Vampire Swim.

Jim Shalloo gives some thought to his party bag while Aisling and Marie wait patiently for him to decide if he’s swimming or not.

Others got totally overexcited and didn’t know what was happening – the poor fella on the right here was new to the sea and was gabbling about it being the biggest pool he ever saw and what were those white things on top of it and where were the black lines and could you tumble turn on that rock and and and…the Cashell sisters and Jim (with party bag secured) just humoured him.  It’s the best way with smallies when they’re wound up.


There was fantastic food for everyone and thanks to the Lowry family for the marquee etc. For some, getting their teeth into a hot dog was the main attraction.


For others, getting teeth into an Audrey was more attractive…looks like she doesn’t mind.



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As ever, thanks to Siobhan Russell for the great pictures. Well done to everyone.