CREGAN-CONDON RING SMASHED!

BREAKING NEWS: Justice has been served!   The Australian Federal Police today raided the New South Wales HQ of the Cregan-Condon crime family and arrested Daniel Cregan-Condon.

The playboy junior crime boss was just too blatant in flaunting his wealth from the Shower in a Can scam and ostentatiously wearing emerald-encrusted green Santa hats, while smoking cigars.  The brave Boys in Shades were acting on information received from reputable sources (they read myrtlevilleswimmers.com regularly).

Daniel Cregan-Condon in shock as the AFP raid the gaff.

Daniel Cregan-Condon in shock as the AFP raid the gaff.

The moment we've waited for - Daniel Cregan Condon's Perp Walk.

Daniel Cregan-Condon’s Perp Walk.

Charges are pending in Australia and an extradition request from Ireland is expected(specifically, from down near Kinsale).  Contacted by this column, Lady Lala, the Harris Shower legal representative, commented, “While it was sad to see anyone jailed at this time of year, I feel sure Daniel Cregan-Condon will still get a Christmas dinner.  If not, let him eat cake”.

However – shockingly – rumours have already surfaced about plans by the Cregan-Condons to move their base of operations to Southern France.  With the head of the Clan, Denis Cregan-Condon still at large, who knows what the future holds for their international operations.

Advertisements

Harris Shower fight back.

Another anonymous tip-off was received by this column overnight.   Proving that there should be no rest for the wicked, the Harris Shower family is fighting back and issued a Cease and Desist notice against the Cregan-Condon Clan – just in time for Christmas. A copy of the notice can be viewed here: Cease and Desist notice .

The Harris family felt they had to act when this shocking image of Daniel Cregan-Condon emerged online – flaunting his ill-gotten gains and playboy lifestyle.  Apparently that poor kid only got a jar of Marmite for all his work.

Open water, sea swimming in Cork, Ireland.

Daniel Cregan-Condon – a chip off the old block at sitting back: just like his Dad.

Meanwhile, back at the ranch, Denis Cregan-Condon continued to party like it’s 1999 (actually $19.95 on special offer for Christmas – a very good deal, I have to say).

Open water, sea swimming in Cork, Ireland.

Cregan-Condon : 1999 partying.

We will follow further developments with interest. Surely the authorities must be seen to act soon against this blatant profiting from criminality.

Happy Christmas!

A very happy and peaceful Christmas to all, whether you’re dressing up for it (or down, in Carmen’s case) or not!

4

Someone else got there before me to say it, but Anne Sheehy’s impression of Finbarr Furey is just uncannily good.

I hope Santa is good to everyone and that you don’t suffer from Orla Houlihan’s ability to go from the Nice list…

7

…..to the Naughty list – in no time at all.

5

She doesn’t seem to mind, though.

Remember, be good because Santa is watching wherever you go (Gordon was up to something here, you can see the look on his face when he spotted Santa’s eyes on him….).

3

Finally, spare a thought for those less fortunate at this time of year.  Like the Harris family – shocked by the latest revelations from Australia… 8

Merry Christmas!  Lots going to the beach on Christmas Day, I’m sure.

08.15 St. Stephen’s Day AND 12.00 on St. Stephen’s Day to help out Liam Maher with his U12s fundraiser.  Then the normal 08.15 on Saturday.

As Gary Frost said, it’s hard to tell that we’re Winter swimming as we’re getting in more often than the Summer 🙂

CREGAN-CONDON DOWN-UNDER SHOWER SCAM UNCOVERED!!!!

While others enjoyed the weekend festivities at the Turkey Swims, this correspondent was working tirelessly on what will come as a massive shock to all believers in the spirit of Christmas.

Denis Cregan-Condon (AKA The Con Don) has been on a charm offensive since completing his Community Service for his Harris Shower rip-off.  During the Service hours, he produced feel-good videos to work his way back in to decent OWS society.  Many felt he had done enough and had paid his dues to the community.  He began to be accepted back – on the fringes – of group gatherings.

Open water swimming in Cork, Ireland.

Cregan-Condon edging his way back in to OW society….

Today, EXCLUSIVELY, this correspondent can reveal the charm offensive was a front for a breathtaking scam being rolled out in Australia.  An anonymous tip-off led to this Infomercial, currently taking the Christmas gift market in Australia by storm.  Watch and weep, readers….

Investigations have uncovered that the company behind this heinous crime is LMFAO Pty. Ltd registered at Redhead Beach, Newcastle, NSW (yes, Joleen, that is a real place) where the Infomercial was filmed.  The man behind the company is……..DANIEL CREGAN-CONDON, son of Denis and heir to the empire!!   By simply changing the Purification Pourer name to “Condon Shower in a Can”, they planned to bypass licencing and royalty laws and pocket the filthy lucre themselves.

Neither Cregan-Condon was contactable as we went to press.  The Harris Shower company said the matter was now with their legal team and they would not comment further.

The Harris Shower - no comment from their people.

The Harris Shower – no comment from their people.

One man’s greed – assisted by his family – to control the world market for portable Open Water Swimming showers has been laid bare.  This story isn’t over – we are on the Cregan-Condon trail and justice will be served!

A Christmas Carol.

The growth in numbers swimming in Myrtleville this year has been huge and has contributed to the increased numbers participating in the Turkey Swims.  Over sixty people swimming in November/December is a great sight.  These events don’t just run themselves, though, so let’s give some credit to the organiser-in-chief (and Birthday Girl on Saturday), Carol Cashell.

DSC_1651 She kept it running last year, too.

Open water, sea swimming in Cork, Ireland

2013: Carol doing her unusual shop – meat and choccies all round for the prizes – with her personal shopper, B. Lynch

I suppose we’d have to give some recognition to Ms. Harris, who helped out the odd time.

Some bit of help, I suppose.  Mostly in it for the cake, though.

Some bit of help, I suppose. Mostly in it for the cake, though. She’s all about the cake, ’bout the cake…

Finally, lest this become too much of a praising pukefest….

Just in case anyone would think it was all sweetness and light.  Carol.... really!

Just in case anyone would think it was all sweetness and light. Carol…. really!

3pm on Saturday in Myrtleville for the Turkey Swim and 4.30pm or so for the Turkey Thaw in the Pine Lodge.

3pm on Sunday in Sandycove for the Turkey Swim and 4.30pm for the Turkey Series Bake Off.  That’s an excuse to eat even more cakes, for anyone who doesn’t know about it.

For those poor misfortunes with work and other plans on Saturday (me) the usual 08.15 swim is still on. Also for double-dippers, of course, who might go for the early swim, Hassett’s, Christmas shopping in Centra,  back to the beach for the Turkey Swim, Cakes, Turkey Thaw…what a day😊.  Anyone?

Video by Denis Spielberg

This is great. Well worth watching. Fantastic work by Denis and Anne.

From Anne Sheehy:

Here is the video Denis shot on his Go Pro Camera last Saturday morning.  None of the filming in the water came out so Gordon Adair was kind enough to let us use his shots and Siobhan gave us permission to use some of hers.

Winter swimming – casualties.

Temps dropped at the weekend.  A few of us were also breaking a cardinal rule (don’t swim with a hangover), so we felt it a bit more.  Under 10c in the sea and zero on land with a frozen beach.  Winter swimming started properly.

Open water, sea swimming in Cork, Ireland.

Strange things happen when the beach gets frozen. Denis is getting growths on his head and poor Anne lost a leg.

As Angela Harris noted online, lack of cake caused some swimmers to simply run out of energy on the beach.

Open water, sea swimming in Cork, Ireland.

Out of cake – REFILL! REFILL! REFILL!

As ever, Siobhan got the picture that tells a thousand words.  Why swim in the Winter?  For this.

Winter Swimming.  Myrtleville, December 13, 2014.

Forecast at present looks a bit windy for the Turkey Swim next Saturday at 3pm.  It’s veering WNW though, so we might be lucky.  Apparently the forecast is great for the Turkey Thaw in the Pine Lodge afterwards, so that’s a relief.

Swim today, Monday, at 4.15pm.  All welcome. Swim Safe.