CREGAN-CONDON RING SMASHED!

Posted on December 27, 2014 by myrtlevilleswimmers

BREAKING NEWS: Justice has been served! The Australian Federal Police today raided the New South Wales HQ of the Cregan-Condon crime family and arrested Daniel Cregan-Condon.

The playboy junior crime boss was just too blatant in flaunting his wealth from the Shower in a Can scam and ostentatiously wearing emerald-encrusted green Santa hats, while smoking cigars. The brave Boys in Shades were acting on information received from reputable sources (they read myrtlevilleswimmers.com regularly).

Daniel Cregan-Condon in shock as the AFP raid the gaff.

Daniel Cregan-Condon’s Perp Walk.

Charges are pending in Australia and an extradition request from Ireland is expected(specifically, from down near Kinsale). Contacted by this column, Lady Lala, the Harris Shower legal representative, commented, “While it was sad to see anyone jailed at this time of year, I feel sure Daniel Cregan-Condon will still get a Christmas dinner. If not, let him eat cake”.

However – shockingly – rumours have already surfaced about plans by the Cregan-Condons to move their base of operations to Southern France. With the head of the Clan, Denis Cregan-Condon still at large, who knows what the future holds for their international operations.

Harris Shower fight back.

Posted on December 25, 2014 by myrtlevilleswimmers

Another anonymous tip-off was received by this column overnight. Proving that there should be no rest for the wicked, the Harris Shower family is fighting back and issued a Cease and Desist notice against the Cregan-Condon Clan – just in time for Christmas. A copy of the notice can be viewed here: Cease and Desist notice .

The Harris family felt they had to act when this shocking image of Daniel Cregan-Condon emerged online – flaunting his ill-gotten gains and playboy lifestyle. Apparently that poor kid only got a jar of Marmite for all his work.

Open water, sea swimming in Cork, Ireland.

Daniel Cregan-Condon – a chip off the old block at sitting back: just like his Dad.

Meanwhile, back at the ranch, Denis Cregan-Condon continued to party like it’s 1999 (actually $19.95 on special offer for Christmas – a very good deal, I have to say).

Cregan-Condon : 1999 partying.

We will follow further developments with interest. Surely the authorities must be seen to act soon against this blatant profiting from criminality.

Happy Christmas!

Posted on December 24, 2014 by myrtlevilleswimmers

A very happy and peaceful Christmas to all, whether you’re dressing up for it (or down, in Carmen’s case) or not!

Someone else got there before me to say it, but Anne Sheehy’s impression of Finbarr Furey is just uncannily good.

I hope Santa is good to everyone and that you don’t suffer from Orla Houlihan’s ability to go from the Nice list…

…..to the Naughty list – in no time at all.

She doesn’t seem to mind, though.

Remember, be good because Santa is watching wherever you go (Gordon was up to something here, you can see the look on his face when he spotted Santa’s eyes on him….).

Finally, spare a thought for those less fortunate at this time of year. Like the Harris family – shocked by the latest revelations from Australia…

Merry Christmas! Lots going to the beach on Christmas Day, I’m sure.

08.15 St. Stephen’s Day AND 12.00 on St. Stephen’s Day to help out Liam Maher with his U12s fundraiser. Then the normal 08.15 on Saturday.

As Gary Frost said, it’s hard to tell that we’re Winter swimming as we’re getting in more often than the Summer 🙂

CREGAN-CONDON DOWN-UNDER SHOWER SCAM UNCOVERED!!!!

Posted on December 22, 2014 by myrtlevilleswimmers

While others enjoyed the weekend festivities at the Turkey Swims, this correspondent was working tirelessly on what will come as a massive shock to all believers in the spirit of Christmas.

Denis Cregan-Condon (AKA The Con Don) has been on a charm offensive since completing his Community Service for his Harris Shower rip-off. During the Service hours, he produced feel-good videos to work his way back in to decent OWS society. Many felt he had done enough and had paid his dues to the community. He began to be accepted back – on the fringes – of group gatherings.

Cregan-Condon edging his way back in to OW society….

Today, EXCLUSIVELY, this correspondent can reveal the charm offensive was a front for a breathtaking scam being rolled out in Australia. An anonymous tip-off led to this Infomercial, currently taking the Christmas gift market in Australia by storm. Watch and weep, readers….

Investigations have uncovered that the company behind this heinous crime is LMFAO Pty. Ltd registered at Redhead Beach, Newcastle, NSW (yes, Joleen, that is a real place) where the Infomercial was filmed. The man behind the company is……..DANIEL CREGAN-CONDON, son of Denis and heir to the empire!! By simply changing the Purification Pourer name to “Condon Shower in a Can”, they planned to bypass licencing and royalty laws and pocket the filthy lucre themselves.

Neither Cregan-Condon was contactable as we went to press. The Harris Shower company said the matter was now with their legal team and they would not comment further.

The Harris Shower – no comment from their people.

One man’s greed – assisted by his family – to control the world market for portable Open Water Swimming showers has been laid bare. This story isn’t over – we are on the Cregan-Condon trail and justice will be served!

A Christmas Carol.

Posted on December 19, 2014 by myrtlevilleswimmers

The growth in numbers swimming in Myrtleville this year has been huge and has contributed to the increased numbers participating in the Turkey Swims. Over sixty people swimming in November/December is a great sight. These events don’t just run themselves, though, so let’s give some credit to the organiser-in-chief (and Birthday Girl on Saturday), Carol Cashell.

She kept it running last year, too.

2013: Carol doing her unusual shop – meat and choccies all round for the prizes – with her personal shopper, B. Lynch

I suppose we’d have to give some recognition to Ms. Harris, who helped out the odd time.

Some bit of help, I suppose. Mostly in it for the cake, though. She’s all about the cake, ’bout the cake…

Finally, lest this become too much of a praising pukefest….

Just in case anyone would think it was all sweetness and light. Carol…. really!

3pm on Saturday in Myrtleville for the Turkey Swim and 4.30pm or so for the Turkey Thaw in the Pine Lodge.

3pm on Sunday in Sandycove for the Turkey Swim and 4.30pm for the Turkey Series Bake Off. That’s an excuse to eat even more cakes, for anyone who doesn’t know about it.

For those poor misfortunes with work and other plans on Saturday (me) the usual 08.15 swim is still on. Also for double-dippers, of course, who might go for the early swim, Hassett’s, Christmas shopping in Centra, back to the beach for the Turkey Swim, Cakes, Turkey Thaw…what a day😊. Anyone?

Video by Denis Spielberg

Posted on December 16, 2014 by myrtlevilleswimmers

This is great. Well worth watching. Fantastic work by Denis and Anne.

From Anne Sheehy:

Here is the video Denis shot on his Go Pro Camera last Saturday morning. None of the filming in the water came out so Gordon Adair was kind enough to let us use his shots and Siobhan gave us permission to use some of hers.

Winter swimming – casualties.

Posted on December 15, 2014 by myrtlevilleswimmers

Temps dropped at the weekend. A few of us were also breaking a cardinal rule (don’t swim with a hangover), so we felt it a bit more. Under 10c in the sea and zero on land with a frozen beach. Winter swimming started properly.

Strange things happen when the beach gets frozen. Denis is getting growths on his head and poor Anne lost a leg.

As Angela Harris noted online, lack of cake caused some swimmers to simply run out of energy on the beach.

Out of cake – REFILL! REFILL! REFILL!

As ever, Siobhan got the picture that tells a thousand words. Why swim in the Winter? For this.

Forecast at present looks a bit windy for the Turkey Swim next Saturday at 3pm. It’s veering WNW though, so we might be lucky. Apparently the forecast is great for the Turkey Thaw in the Pine Lodge afterwards, so that’s a relief.

Swim today, Monday, at 4.15pm. All welcome. Swim Safe.

How cold is it? How cold does it feel?

Posted on December 11, 2014 by myrtlevilleswimmers

Interesting comments around at the moment about the fact that the sea temperature has actually been warmer than it was at the start of July this year (12.1c said the Ballycotton gauge…hmmmm: working?). Even if it’s right, people are saying they feel very cold in and out of the water. It’s the air temp combined with the sea that’s the difference, of course. Spending an hour in the sea (or even 30 minutes) in July is very different to doing it in December, January etc.

Cork Harbour Weather – @CorkHarbourWX – had this on a tweet spotted by Bernard Lynch last week “The still air temp is +6C but the THSW temp (how it actually feels outside) is only +2-3C. Wrap up!”. Extensive research was then conducted (he Googled THSW) to find what it was:

THSW Index uses humidity and temperature to calculate an apparent temperature. In addition, THSW incorporates the heating effects of solar radiation and the cooling effects of wind (like wind chill) on our perception of temperature.

Why bother posting this? Just another reminder / warning to us all to think of all the factors when swimming in Winter. Tides, sea temperature, wind temperature etc. Cold always wins. We can go into the sea on a beautiful flat calm day in December and be tempted to go a bit further than we should.

One thing you’ll notice is that a Northerly wind makes Myrtleville nice and calm. Even quite strong Northerlies can still leave our favourite beach very swimmable. It’s also a very cold wind! It’s safer to be five or ten minutes from the beach when you feel cold, than to have gone over past the Dutchman when you realise that wind is freezing your elbows, your hands have clawed and it looks like a long way back. No rule says you have to go to the Dutchman. Fennell’s Bay is lovely this time of year!

So, look at the sea, check the tides, agree with a swim partner what you’re doing, cut it short if you feel cold – or before you feel cold – and always have your gear ready for a quick dry and change afterwards. Afterdrop can be painful and it’s worse if you dawdle getting dressed. Winter swimming is fantastic – a real buzz. Just be careful. Swim Safe.

A bit of a do – December 20th.

Posted on December 9, 2014 by myrtlevilleswimmers

Siobhan Russell is posting an Event on FaceBook for all swimmers. For non-FaceBookers, it’s the Turkey Thaw in the Pine Lodge, Myrtleville, at about 4.30pm on Saturday, December 20th – after the last Myrtleville Turkey Swim for 2014. All are welcome.

Pine Lodge – ready to be filled.

The Pine Lodge is a great spot. The suggested table of events for the day and evening per Siobhan is:

Second last Turkey Swim in Myrtleville at 3pm.
Raffle being held after swim at the beach.
Pine Lodge for drinks and Turkey Thaw afterwards – about 4.30pm.
Photos of the year on screen.
Food available from pizza van.

Crystal’s Munchie bus.

Siobhan’s agenda stops at that point, but I think she must have run out of space. I’m sure the following should also be there.

Tequila Chaser Chicks – live on stage at 9.30.
Denis’ Shower Strip – repeated performance on request throughout the night – just ask and he’ll be ready to go.
X Rated photos on screen (i.e. The Killary Shots) – once the kids go home. Sure to set up the next stage……..
“It’s way too hot” – off to the beach without any silly old clothes to get in the way

Just another normal night out for this crowd, really.

See you on the 20th. Oh, it’s Carol’s birthday, too. There might be even more cakes than usual.

Swimming in December

Posted on December 5, 2014 by myrtlevilleswimmers

Siobhan Russell got this beautiful picture yesterday morning. The sea is under 10c and closer to 9c at times, but the calm conditions have been a bonus.

Heading for the Dutchman – Myrtleville, December 4, 2014.

Not looking as good for next week, but we’ve got 08.15 tomorrow and the Turkey Swim on Sunday at 11.00 to look forward to before then.

As an add-on to the post on swimming in cold water, Donal Buckley has done a great post this week on what to expect as you swim in the colder sea for the coming months and how the blood flow to the limbs and skin is restricted. Peripheral vasoconstriction it’s called, but he makes it easy to understand!

Swim Safe.

Myrtleville Swimmers

Open Water – Sea Swimming in Cork, Ireland

Monthly Archives: December 2014