Entries Open for RNLI Myrtleville-Church Bay 2016

The 2016 RNLI Myrtleville to Church Bay (entrance to Cork Harbour) 2km open water sea swim will take place on Saturday, June 18th at 3.00pm. 

Participants must have submitted their entry online.  We can’t accept entries on the day.

Entries this year are online with Active.   Take note of the No Refunds policy – we’re donating entries to the RNLI.

Enter here: RNLI Myrtleville-Church Bay 2016 Entries on Active

Open water, sea swimming in Cork, Ireland.

RNLI – as posed by Gary, Carol, Eleanor, Andrew, Brian and Orla – for Siobhan Russell

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Myrtleville Mondays – We’re Back!

The world-famous 6 pm Myrtleville Monday swims are recommencing on Monday, March 28th, once the clocks have sprung forward.

As Monday 28th is Easter Monday, there will probably be some other swims earlier in the day, but tradition is tradition so 6 pm it is – for anyone who is around. 

Open water, sea swimming in Cork, Ireland.

Last Monday swim, October 2015.

If you’re new to Myrtleville or returning after being out for a bit – please read this.

Never swim alone.  Always swim in groups. 

Open water, sea swimming in Cork, Ireland.

Ros Turtle Departure – the Inside Story

The shock departure of Ros O’Brien from the Myrtle Turtles channel relay team was skillfully handled by their PR gurus.  Announced late at night on March 1st and portrayed as an amicable split, it has taken considerable effort to unearth the true story – but our intrepid reporters have done it.

As many suspected, the ongoing troubles stemmed from further shenanigans by Eoin Lowry.  His proposal to change the team name to Lowry & The Lasses was the last straw for Ros.  Potentially photoshopped pictures submitted by Mr. Lowry to support his claim that he had the ability to bring “star” supporters to the team if the name was changed only inflamed the situation.

Sibling rivalry

Ms. O’Brien was unavailable for on-the-record comment regarding her departure. (Off-the-record, friends of people who may know Ms. O’Brien’s friends or neighbours said she may possibly have said:  “Yer man’s a total header – seriously.  Once I saw the picture, I was out of there.”).  

The remaining non-Lowry members of the team are soldiering on with the four-person relay (one Lowry and three Lasses).  Our thoughts are with them.  We await – with trepidation – further developments.  

A gathering of the team is planned for today, St. Patrick’s Day.  What could possibly go wrong?

Overcrowding already a serious issue.

With over 100 swimmers in the sea over the weekend in Myrtleville, congestion in the sea is becoming a problem.  Certain swimmers (Anne Sheehy No names, so as not cause embarrassment) are already notorious for cutting across other swimmers, even with only small groups in the water.

However, in defence of those unnamed parties, others contend that mnás just can’t swim straight (Denis Condon Again, no names) and are always causing trouble anyway, so they just can’t help themselves.  No comment on the veracity of this contention will be made on this site (although Eoin Lowry some people agreed with it).

It’s the sheer volume of swimmers coming to Myrtleville now that concerns us  – and how many there will be when the sea temperature increases.  It’s only March and we’re swamped with people.  What’s it going to be like on a warm Summer’s morning?

Normal Saturday morning swim in Myrtleville

Projected Saturday morning swim numbers when sea warms up in Myrtleville.

Still, when you see it as beautiful as Saturday morning, where else would people go?

Open water, sea swimming in Cork

Myrtleville – Saturday 12th March: 7.40am – before the rush.

There’s lots of room and no better place to start the day.  Great to see so many people enjoying it.   We’ll just have to find space for us all 🙂

Siobhan goes to Hollywood

We all know it’s only a matter of time before our star photographer gets tempted by the big money offers from the USA to become a photographer to the other – non-swimmy – stars. Let’s face it, if she can make us lot look good in Myrtleville, she’ll have no hassles with Leonardo, Julia, Matt etc.

The move took a step closer today with five of her pics featured in the H2Open magazine competition on Facebook.   The winner will be published in the magazine.  Siobhan will definitely get the call-up from 20th Century Fox after that one.

Here’s one of the pictures – featuring the world’s most famous jumping swimmer, Breda Maguire, with a supporting cast of Harris and Cashell(s).   Well done, Siobhan!

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Now,  how exactly does the voting work so the vote-buying committee can spring into action?

European Tour – has to include Myrtleville.

As well as proof of a 1,500m OW swim in 2016 to enter the RNLI Myrtleville-Church Bay Swim on June 18th (Proof – I’m talking to you, Ms. Cashell), I think we should make attendance at the Daddy Long Legs gig in the Pine Lodge on the afternoon of Sunday June 12th another compulsory requirement 🙂

Manchester, London….Myrtleville.  Now that’s a cosmopolitan European tour schedule. Don’t miss them this time – a fantastic live act by brilliant musicians.

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Flags of convenience

The picture below sent on by Frank Lynch of Alan Wilkie wearing The Hat, but swimming for another crowd in the excellent Sunday’s Well Masters Gala, started me thinking about flags of convenience.

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First, an amended definition with some words deleted and some added to fit the specific circumstances we are dealing with here: 

Flag of convenience is the business Myrtleville practice of registering a merchant ship swimmer in a sovereign state goat-ridden island (GRI), different from that of the ship’s owners swimmer’s real and beautiful swimming location and flying that state’s GRI’s civil ensign goaty cap on the ship swimmer so as to enter certain events. Ships Swimmers are registered under flags of convenience to reduce operating costs for Myrtlevillians and avoid the regulations of the owner’s  swimmer’s country, while making practically a full-time job for Angela Harris registering Myrtlevillians with Swim Ireland.

Apparently there are so many Myrtlevillians using the flag of convenience these days, a new position for Flag Of Convience Secretary had to be created at an EGM down West. 

So we had Alan using the flag of convenience but wearing The Hat.   More disturbingly, at the same event, we had the blackmailing of Anthony Sloman.  Told he HAD to wear that red thing by the aforementioned, hard-working, registration-queen, Angela Harris – he was forced to be seen in public without his Myrtleville Hat.  His solution was to swim really fast so nobody could see him – just a kind of red blur.  Good thinking, Anthony.  He also washed his hair a lot afterwards.

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It occurs to me that if so many Myrtlevillians keep taking up the flag of convenience, we could arrive at a situation where they could propose and carry votes at the AGM down West.  All we’d need to do is lay on a bus and say it’s a day out.  Nobody fills a day out like Myrtlevillians.  Next year’s AGM:

“I propose a club name-change to Myrtleville Swimmers Occasional Day-Trip Swimming Club”.  Carried by 172 votes.

“I propose a new Hat…….”.  Carried overwhelmingly….

Has anyone in SISC given any strategic thought to all of these flags of convenience members? They might now.