In a shock announcement, law enforcement agencies have released a statement advising that the mascot for the Myrtle Turtles Swim team, Myrtle the Turtle, is missing.
Last seen on January 19th, the well-known socialite and high-profile mascot did not return from a planned photo-shoot, booked by a Mr. Ron O’Wiley. Investigating officers are anxious to trace Mr. O’Wiley, to eliminate him from their enquiries.
Anyone with information, please contact THIS SITE!!! TELL US FIRST!!! After that, let the police know – if you want. Whatever suits you, like. Just make sure we know.
Ms. Myrtle has been in the news of late at the centre of a protracted dispute with another socialite mascot, Patso Lowry. Representatives of the Myrtle Turtles Channel Relay Team were not available for comment as we went to Press.