RNLI Swim – Going One Step Beyond

This year is going to be bigger and better than ever.  If you’re going to be ready, get entered now on Active. 

I can Absolutely say that we’re going One Step Beyond this year, with our evening swim at 7.  Despite The Rise and Fall of the tide and The Madness of cold water swimming, we Keep Moving with our Wonderful event.  Oui, Oui, Si, Si, Ja, Ja, Da, Da it is true – the other swims just Can’t Touch Us Now. We may be Mad (or) Not Mad but Myrtleville is definitely the place to be on July 3rd.  Get your qualifying swims done – we don’t want any of The Dangermen taking a chance.  As ever, there will be fun and spot prizes – but I don’t think we’ll be able to offer The Liberty of Norton Folgate as one of them.

I know, I’m really reaching with that last line, but seriously – you try to fit that into any ordinary sentence.  It was hard enough to put in the other 11 albums.

With almost 40 years of thanks to Mike, Suggs, Lee, Mark, Chas, Woodie, Chris and – of course – Prince Buster.  http://www.madness.co.uk/

Advertisements

Munster Open Water Calendar 2018

With many thanks to Carol Cashell for her ongoing hard work, here’s a link to the “final” version of the Calendar for 2018.  I say “final” as Carol will update monthly as changes arise! Her work never ends…

Munster Open Water Event Calendar V1 Final – February 2018

Of course you must first enter that great event on July 3rd, then consider some other options 🙂

New 2 & 1/2 Dutchman Laps Award Announcement

As the home of swimming in Cork, Myrtleville is rightly seen as a leader in all areas of right-thinking-swimmy-stuff.  As part of our leadership role, the proliferation of “lap achievement” awards from smaller, more Westerly swimming groups (if three people on a good day counts as a group) has been noted.  Hats and T-Shirts abound for any-old-number-you-fancy-yourself, down West. 

In a carefully considered response, the Committee Of Nominations Around Really Tough Individual Swimmy Thing Stuff (work out that acronym for yourself) have today announced what is sure to become the pre-eminent, sought-after award for all aspiring sea swimmers, The Goat-Free Myrtleville Marathoner 2 & 1/2 Dutchman Laps Award.

Guideline map of Two and a half a laps with clear numbering system.

While other “awards” are handed out like confetti to anyone who picks a number of laps out of a hat (and then puts that number on a hat), our criteria are different (now there’s a surprise), transparent and are – in fact – the most tremendous criteria ever for an award system.

The numbering system shown above – as provided by Mr. James Shalloo – to determine how many half laps (#goat-free) have been achieved follows a sequential process in iterations of one from the first to the third in relevant marker points, each of which marks a point on which one of the sequential numbers is marked.  How clear is that?

If you’re still in doubt, here’s a clearer picture of a lap around the Dutchman to give you guidance.  Note lack of goats and the precise angles of turns required for lap measurement.  On this point, please note that submission of Strava data to verify laps is strictly forbidden.  It is understood from sources at the North Corkorea Camps that this data is being used to track the vast volumes of swimmers in Myrtleville, as a pre-cursor to further attempts to lure them away to the “fresh” water.

The Award will be overseen by internationally-renowned marathon swimming coach, Eilis Burns, who is herself one of the first proud recipients. Ms. Burns rightly attributes her international success in Spain a few years back to her annual dip in Myrtleville.  Ms. Burns will be supervising training plans and ensuring that all aspiring swimmers are fully prepared for this challenge.  She is pictured here at the Announcement of the Award and Inaugural Recipients.

As ever, Viva Myrtleville!

Dansformation Update

Denis was delighted with the response to his call for support for Daniel.  He mentioned that Caitriona (otherwise known as the Inspector of Weights and Measures) was already seeing results.  Keep up the cheerleading, everyone.

Of course, this type of endeavour is fraught with difficulty and temptations.  Everywhere you turn, people are saying “sure a biscuit would do you no harm….” or “you’ll have a few chips with that, go on, go on…”.  Beware, Daniel, underminers are everywhere.  Look at this one, for example – Jess the Temptress….

Stay strong, Daniel.  You have your supporters.  B.A. Richardson, says she’ll lamp anyone who gets in the way of your goals.   B.A. Baracus wouldn’t stand a chance.

It was also great to see that Daniel recognises everyone could do with a little help in defying the march of time.  He’s slathering on the Ageless Beauty Lotion (“designed for the sensitive man”) to complement his reductional measurement programme. 

What an inspiration to his followers everywhere.  (Does anyone in Barnsley read this stuff – I wonder what they’d think?). I reckon there’s a media career in the offing here.  Maybe a column in The Carrigdhoun – “Ask Daniel – How to Improve your Life, the Barnsley Way”.  Siobhan might get him in there – she’s huge in all those media circles..  #GODANIEL

Operation Dansformation

Denis Condon has been in touch to say he’s disappointed with the level of support being offered to our resettled Barnsleyian, Daniel Swagrzyk.

Daniel – Denis says – has been given his New Year’s resolution by Cáitriona  made a decision to alter his body shape in a reductional fashion. Despite his acknowledged ability to walk on water, even Daniel can be improved, apparently.  Denis mentioned “two stone, or he’s out – that’s what I heard” – but surely that can’t be true.

Denis is putting the call out for more vocal exhortations to support Daniel in his efforts.  He suggests encouraging Daniel with shouts of “Get on dat bike and up dat hill, ya fecker” whenever we meet him.

Rest assured, Daniel, your fellow Myrtlevillians are right behind you in your campaign.  With Denis reminding us daily, we’ll be shouting you on and looking forward to the day when we can have a massive BBQ – with cakes to celebrate your success.  Just a salad for you though, Denis said.