Dansformation Update

Denis was delighted with the response to his call for support for Daniel.  He mentioned that Caitriona (otherwise known as the Inspector of Weights and Measures) was already seeing results.  Keep up the cheerleading, everyone.

Of course, this type of endeavour is fraught with difficulty and temptations.  Everywhere you turn, people are saying “sure a biscuit would do you no harm….” or “you’ll have a few chips with that, go on, go on…”.  Beware, Daniel, underminers are everywhere.  Look at this one, for example – Jess the Temptress….

Stay strong, Daniel.  You have your supporters.  B.A. Richardson, says she’ll lamp anyone who gets in the way of your goals.   B.A. Baracus wouldn’t stand a chance.

It was also great to see that Daniel recognises everyone could do with a little help in defying the march of time.  He’s slathering on the Ageless Beauty Lotion (“designed for the sensitive man”) to complement his reductional measurement programme. 

What an inspiration to his followers everywhere.  (Does anyone in Barnsley read this stuff – I wonder what they’d think?). I reckon there’s a media career in the offing here.  Maybe a column in The Carrigdhoun – “Ask Daniel – How to Improve your Life, the Barnsley Way”.  Siobhan might get him in there – she’s huge in all those media circles..  #GODANIEL


Operation Dansformation

Denis Condon has been in touch to say he’s disappointed with the level of support being offered to our resettled Barnsleyian, Daniel Swagrzyk.

Daniel – Denis says – has been given his New Year’s resolution by Cáitriona  made a decision to alter his body shape in a reductional fashion. Despite his acknowledged ability to walk on water, even Daniel can be improved, apparently.  Denis mentioned “two stone, or he’s out – that’s what I heard” – but surely that can’t be true.

Denis is putting the call out for more vocal exhortations to support Daniel in his efforts.  He suggests encouraging Daniel with shouts of “Get on dat bike and up dat hill, ya fecker” whenever we meet him.

Rest assured, Daniel, your fellow Myrtlevillians are right behind you in your campaign.  With Denis reminding us daily, we’ll be shouting you on and looking forward to the day when we can have a massive BBQ – with cakes to celebrate your success.  Just a salad for you though, Denis said.

Grab a “bargain” over on eBay

It’s that time of year when eBay handles the disposal of mountains of unwanted crap handed over as Christmas gifts.  To highlight one listing – the “seller” is offering to pay anyone who’ll come and take away an item that mysteriously landed in his wife’s present pile.  It’s hideous – even the dog isn’t happy to have it as bedding.  What a load of goat shite.

Goats?????  Get it off me!!!

Goats????? Get it off me!!!  Call the CSPCA!!!

Best crew!

Volunteers matter!

Congrats to Eoin Lowry and Anne Sheehy – winners of the Devil’s Island Trophy 2017 who crewed the most interesting, completed epic swim during the year. The swimmer was Maeve Mulcahy and it was the Fastnet to Baltimore swim.

This will be presented during the Cork Spring Dinner.

Thanks to all who volunteered in 2017: organisers, crew, pilots, kayaker, timekeepers, webmasters, checkin and checkout team…etc. The sport doesn’t happen without you.

Eight nominations were received and voted on by the panel of Steven Black – West Cork, Adrian Healy – Mallow, Ned Denison – Sandycove, Damian O’Neill – Myrtleville and Dave Mulcahy – Fermoy

Last minute gift? All sorted.

Everyone – and I mean EVERYONE – would love a Myrtleville Towel or Hat this Christmas.  Whether it’s the Mr. Finbarr or Yankee Ned in your life, there’s nothing they’d love more.  

For a stocking filler to be proud of, call to Bernie in Centra Crosshaven for a cool Towel or Hat. 

Thanks to Centra staff for facilitating distribution of these by the way – it’s a hassle for them for no cost to us Myrtlevillians.  Much easier than using the boots of our cars and messing around with change! Much appreciated.

De Video – 2017

If I’m asked – and I often am – why so many people have taken to swimming in Myrtleville I say, “Siobhan Russell”.  In this digital age, having an in-beach photographer who captures the fun of sea swimming is fantastic.  People trying to decide if they should take the plunge and try getting in to the sea can browse online and clearly see others who may look a bit mad (we do), but who definitely are having fun.  Siobhan captures that and it’s easy to forget how lucky we are to have her.

Here’s this year’s labour of love showing us all in all our glory!  Have a coffee and a relax.  It’s worth it.   Thanks, Siobhan.  You are a star.

Lip liner? Seriously?

It’s gone mad now.  Everything.  The world.  Mad. 

One constant I had to cling to in life was that the car boot is where you keep swimmy stuff.  Everyone the same.  Dumped there.  Loads of it.  Clean it out a couple of times a year.  Grand.  Comforting, though.  You know your swimmy stuff is there.  Togs.  Goggles.  Hats.  Flasks.  Towels.  Lip liner.  Wha?

“I’ve lip liner in the boot, if you need it”.  Words I never thought I’d hear at the top of Myrtleville beach.  Until yesterday.  Then I noticed various ladies unwilling to get out of their cars until they had primped, preened and titivated to their satisfaction. 

Is this the Instagram generation taking us over?  “I wouldn’t be seen dead at the Dutchman without lipstick….”?  “It’s under 10c, I’d better use a different foundation….”?

Seriously, ladies, ye don’t need to be listening to Denis.  Ye’re gorgeous just they way ye are.  Clean out those boots now.  Put the lippy back in the house where it belongs.  Go for the natural look.  Like these icons.  Not a lip liner between them.

Really now.   Kiss that lip liner goodbye.