Meteorology is the interdisciplinary scientific study of the atmosphere.   There are many schools of thought and systems in the field of meteorology.  As some of you may know, in Myrtleville we are followers of the Condon System of meteorological reporting and prediction.  This is often known as DWx2, or by its full title of “d’wedder and d’water”.

It has been noted by some observers that the Condon System often produces forecasts – or even current weather reports – which are at odds with what appears to be reality.  For instance, you could be standing on the slip in Myrtleville with the rain lashing down and twelve foot waves hopping off the beach.  Denis will loudly proclaim: “d’wedder’s gettin’ better and d’water’s roastin’ –  feckin’ roastin’, boy!” (or mná, as appropriate).

Following this proclamation by Denis, you are then left with the choice of:

1. disagreeing with him – thus creating a doubt in your mind about whether you’ll be able to get in to the quite-evidently bloody freezing water – or,
2. agreeing with him – thus tricking yourself into thinking it’ll be ok, as you shuffle down the beach towards the water reciting, “Denis says it’s warm! Denis says it’s warm!”

Of course, everyone chooses to go with option B – it makes life easier and we know he’s right that we will be glad we did it.

Still DWx2 is a bit confusing, so by way of public service here’s an explanation of how it works.  Suppose, for the purposes of illustration, that the Met Eireann weather forecast is as follows:

“SW gales, gusting to force 9.  Sea temperatures of 8c and consistent, heavy rain.”

The DWx2 forecast would then read: “Fierce interestin’ swimmin’. Loadsa shelter in under Bunny’s.  Roastin’ water – about 14 degrees and a nice shower to keep de waves down”.  In other words, “d’wedder’s grand, boy/mná – and d’water’s feckin’ gorgeous”.

You can apply this system to any other forecast you wish because – in the Condon School – “d’wedder’s always de berries and d’water’s ALWAYS roastin’ or – at worst – toasty”.  Oh, and “ye’re all fabulous and fantastic for swimmin’ in de sea”.

Here’s Kieran Murphy’s take on the Condon forecasting system:

Well done to all of the large group who have stayed with the sea this Winter.   Mr. Motivation, Denis Condon, has been attracting crowds for his 10am swims every week day and it’s fantastic to see it.  The fact that he’s lying through his teeth – or completely deluded – about it being “toasty, roasting or too hot” every day hasn’t fazed anyone.  As Denis knows, once you get in – you’ll love it!  It doesn’t matter whether you’re in a wetsuit, togs, boots, hats or whatever you want – just keep swimming 🙂

Kieran Murphy captured some of the fun and beauty of Winter swimming with his drone.

Of course, as always, we’re spoiled with the great pictures Siobhan Russell gives us.

Winter swimming, beautiful setting and lots of good company.  You can’t beat Myrtleville.

There have been several reports in the news lately of some Cork girls having their pictures stolen online and included in a porn site.  Nasty stuff.  Of course, there’s always some guys who see a different angle on a story like this.  Imagine my surprise when I saw visitors arriving to this site using the following search term: “What is the Cork porn site?”.  

The lucky searchers found our site – with acres of rubber and flesh on view – because of this particular post from April last year:

https://myrtlevilleswimmers.com/2015/04/13/were-a-porn-site-whod-have-thought-it/

So, if you’re still searching lads – welcome back!!  Fill your boots.  Here’s a good one to start ye off and get the pulses racing.

Following his not-very-well-received – or advised – comments of recent times, Denis Cregan-Condon has now been sent to Coventry (as opposed to Barnsley, where Daniel has gone into hiding) and told to swim on his own, in a mná-free zone.

One man and his sea – Cakeless Cregan-Condon heads off this morning.

Of course anything some fictional Polish wans can do, our Myrtlevillian Mná can do better – look what Denis missed when he went out to sea.  Baywatch how are ya?!

Casting session for the new Baywatch in Myrtleville – when Denis’ back was turned, look what he missed!

Hell hath no fury like a mná scorned, Denis.