Murphy Victory Press Conference

Posted on January 25, 2017 by myrtlevilleswimmers

Fresh from his success in the Nude Calendar Vote, Mr. Kieran Murphy held a lunchtime press conference which has just concluded.

He thanked his “many, many, most tremendous, greatest number ever, more voters than anyone else ever had” supporters and offered a machine gun to his fellow candidates. An olive branch had been expected, but Mr. Murphy is taking a leaf from other recently successful candidates, so a machine gun it was.

Mr. Murphy at his meedja outing, with some fella from Mayo trying to bask in the reflected glory.

Mr. Murphy was all-encompassing in his comments for his fellow candidates. In other words, he dissed them all.

Some highlights: “All of those losers can learn from me. I’m the man. Wait’ll they see my tremendous ass….ets. Condon? Yesterday’s news. His shower business is down the tubes and now modelling’s out too. Hallissey? He might as well stay up there in that North Cork-Korea lake. There’s nothing for him in the sea, where the action is. Kiely? Not even the feds could save his campaign. Shalloo? He might be fast but where’s his numbers? Frost? Now, Frost was clever. Going for that last place to force a win based on US election rules. That might have worked. I’ve got some respect for that guy. The LOSER!! Yes, Yes, I’m tremendous.”

However, Mr. Muphy did eventually make an offer to warm the hearts (and freeze the backsides) of his opponents.

“I’m a tremendously fair guy. The fairest guy in the world. The numbers show I’m fairer than anyone else who ever won a nude calendar model vote on Myrtleville Swimmers. I’m willing to let all of those losers – sorry, I mean, tremendous, wonderful candidates – come along to my unveiling at 8.30am on Saturday morning in Fennell’s Bay. I make this tremendous offer in a spirit of peace and hairyness. It’ll be a sight to sea. They can all join in too. I’m in front, though.”

Murphy Wins!!

Posted on January 25, 2017 by myrtlevilleswimmers

poll

What a night! With the lead changing hands repeatedly and interventions by foreign powers in the shape of the CIA (John Kiely), the Russkis (Denis Condon) and North Koreans (Frank Hallissey – who has been spending a lot of time in the Camps), it still came down to one simple incontrovertible truth – you’ll never beat the Irish in an online poll.

Despite looking beaten several times, Kieran Murphy’s loyal Irish fan-base came through and gave him the win. Can’t wait to see the calendar!

Siobhan says there’s places for all of them, by the way.

The only fly in the ointment now is that there’s a legal challenge to the result by Gary Frost. He claims that in the Trump era, the person who got the least votes actually wins. He cites the recent US election as an example. We’re leaving that one in the hands of the lawyers.

Nude calendar models – A VOTE!

Posted on January 24, 2017 by myrtlevilleswimmers

Just to raise the January spirits, we’ve decided to see if there’s scope for the bevy of beauties who swim in Myrtleville to find fame as calendar models. We’re not sure if it’ll be suitable for Pirelli sponsorship, but maybe Massey Ferguson.

As you would imagine, we’ve been inundated with requests to be included in this fictitious endeavour, but we have narrowed it down to six applicants. They’ve all got a lot of posing experience and each believes he’s the man for the job.

We’re now conducting a poll so the great Myrtlevillian public can nominate our hero for calendaric fame. And the nominees are…..

Here’s a sample of why they might be YOUR choice for stardom.

Open water, sea swimming in Cork, Ireland.

Jim Shalloo – practically ready for the calendar with those togs.

Denis – gratuitous shower shots a speciality.

Festive togs market sown up by K. Murphy. Ad agencies beating down his door.

Kieran Murphy – a posing pro.

Phwoar – two for the price of one. John Kiely or Frank Hallissey? Vote Now!!

Gary Frost – ready to drop the togs and pose, pose, pose.

Vote early, vote often. Who’s the man for the job?

The Hat swims on

Posted on January 23, 2017 by myrtlevilleswimmers

Never resting on its laurels, the Hat continues to plough around the world, seen recently with Sarah Shortt at Tinside Beach East, The Hoe in Plymouth.

Not a lot of pedestrians around in the background there. Definitely a day for the committed – and their Hats.

So, who IS that girl?

Posted on January 17, 2017 by myrtlevilleswimmers

The girl in question from yesterday’s quiz was pictured in 1974 with her cousin, Tricia Dwane. Her name is Staunton, but she’s better known to all of us as our shining star, Mrs. Siobhan Russell.

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Also, for music junkies, Dave Stewart appears in the video escorted by a variety of guest stars including Cheryl Baker and Jay Aston of Bucks Fizz, Kiki Dee, Hazel O’Connor, Kate Garner of Haysi Fantayzee and all four members of Bananarama (including Stewart’s future wife, Siobhan Fahey and future group member Jacquie O’Sullivan who would replace Fahey in Bananarama in 1988). The gender-bending pop star Marilyn also makes an appearance in the video as another of Stewart’s escorts.

By the way, Ms. Lennox also appears as a man and in the last scene is actually kissing herself in male and female guises. Mad stuff for 1983!

Now, get back to swimming. Here’s another gratuitous shower shot to get you in the mood. Or – given the model – put you off your breakfast.

Mr. Lowry becomes Mr. Showery.

Who’s that girl?

Posted on January 16, 2017 by myrtlevilleswimmers

Never let it be said that we at Myrtleville Swimmers Meedja Enterprises & Associated Guff Production Inc. are not always looking for ways to keep our most loyal and committed fans – both of them – entertained.

Today we’re playing “Who’s that girl?” – and doing it not only with a Eurythmics soundtrack but also a further quiz based on the soundtrack video. Mad or wha’? You wouldn’t get that in San……, but anyway, let’s not digress.

Right, first of all, here’s a picture taken of serious swimmers about to swim to the Dutchman at some point in the 1970’s. This was taken in Fennell’s Bay, so the swim to the Rock was more manageable for the young athletes. Note particularly the coolest of cool togs – WITH skirt – modelled by the girl on the right. That same girl on the right is still to be found swimming regularly at Fennell’s, the Dutchman and, of course, Myrtleville.

The question is – who’s that girl? 1974-about-fennells-bay-tricia-dwane-cousin-siobhan-staunton

While you’re thinking about it, enjoy the dulcet tones of Ms. Lennox. Watch the video and – if you’re of a certain era – enjoy spotting how many of the ladies accompanying Mr. Stewart are actually pop stars in their own right.

See – the most funnest swimmy-type site in the whole world. No competition.

Shower Sweet Shower

Posted on January 15, 2017 by myrtlevilleswimmers

The Shower Sweet Shower activist grouping have claimed victory over the HarCon Shower empire with the installation of new, free showers at Myrtleville Beach. “No longer will decent, ordinary beach users suffer under the yoke of high-priced shower costs from the HarCon gang”, an SSS spokesman contributed.

Seen testing the new facilities today were a regular local beach user, who ensured the showers worked for togs aficionados.

He was followed by a group who tested whether wetsuit users could benefit from the showers. shower An earlier group checked what would happen if they stood under the showers and did nothing. Nothing, they learned. photo-from-antoinette

Strangely, when contacted, a spokesperson for HarCon Showers seemed unconcerned about this supposed threat to their revenue streams. “Robust, vandal-proof and suitable for heavy outdoor usage? Have ya seen dem? Come off de stage, boy. I give ’em a week and we’ll be back in de mobile sales Yaris flogging showers like always.”

Worrying words of wisdom, one fears.

Making waves

Posted on January 13, 2017 by myrtlevilleswimmers

While committed open water swimmers will tolerate the pool, they miss the waves from the open sea. There were suggestions from the mystery correspondent who sent in this picture (thanks, Glen), that the actions of one M. Watson amounted to disruptive delinquency.

However, we feel sure that our Marie wouldn’t be into that crack. She was just trying to make herself feel at home, by creating some wave-like conditions in the pool. Maith an cailín, Marie.

making-waves

2016 in pictures

Posted on January 10, 2017 by myrtlevilleswimmers

Siobhan Russell is at the heart of everything happening in Myrtleville. Her pictures give us all great reminders of the fun to be had swimming at the beach and we are so lucky that she is involved.

She’s put together her 2016 pictures into about 38 mins of fantastic memories. Grab a coffee and take the time out to enjoy it.

Thanks again, Siobhan. We really do appreciate you 🙂

Shower Envy

Posted on January 9, 2017 by myrtlevilleswimmers

It’s always after Christmas that the new toys start appearing at the beach, leaving some of us feeling a bit left behind.

There are, for example, many of us who thought the HarCon 1.75L Manual Shower was as good as it got. It was, therefore, a bit of a shock on Saturday morning when Gary Frost produced his All-New, Just-Delivered-By-Santa, HarCon 2000 5L Pump Primed Shower.

Talk about an “I-Want-One-Of-Those” moment.

Gary with his 5L Pump Primed HarCon model. Certainly left those of us on the old 1.75L Manual feeling a bit underwhelmed.

I did my best to hide the feelings of inadequacy and waffled about wanting to “keep it real” and “going back to vinyl”, “retro” etc. It was all just a front, though.

Fortunately for me, both Messrs. Harris and Condon were at the beach on Saturday. I was able to stop in to the HarCon Mobile Yaris Sales Pod and get advice on how best to respond. Amazingly, it involved me parting with loadsa cash. The end justifies the means, though (as the salesmen kept telling me).

Let’s just say, I’m looking forward to next Saturday morning, post-swim…

Me with my all-new HarCon 2017 Power Shower Deluxe. Bring it on, Gary!!

Anyone have a loan of a generator, by the way?

Myrtleville Swimmers

Open Water – Sea Swimming in Cork, Ireland

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