RNLI Swim 2018 – Photos

Thanks to Siobhan Russell for her fantastic work, as always.  For those of you who may not have access to these on Facebook, click on the link to see all the photos from the night:

RNLI Myrtleville-Church Bay 2018 Photos

Here’s a picture of the winner, Neddie Irwin.

Open Water, sea swimming in Cork, Ireland

Neddie Irwin with Gary Heslin, RNLI and Bernard Lynch

Oh wait, that’s an old one.  That was 2013 when he did it in 33.22 and finished 18th – the youngest swimmer in the event.  He knocked a bit off that time this year to 22.15.  He must have done a bit of training for the past five years. And stretching.

Roll on 2019.  Hopefully without any wind-enforced postponements.

Thanks to all the volunteers who helped and the sponsors – the RNLI, Coast Guard, Gardai, Order of Malta, Funkytown, Sports Timing, Port of Cork, Centra Crosshaven, Cronin’s Pub, The Edge Sports, Happy Pear and numerous fantastic individuals without whom nothing could run.  All of your time and efforts are greatly appreciated.  Thanks to you all.

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Swim cancelled – moved to Thursday

Rescheduled swim on Thursday, July 5th at 8pm.
The Easterly wind is too strong and not forecast to calm in time for tonight’s swim. The Safety Committee have cancelled tonight’s swim. We are going to reschedule for this week on Thursday at 20.00. Registration from 18.00.
All entries still valid.

Swim nutrition

Paul Ramsell posted a question on the Facebook group recently regarding drinks and feeds during long swims.  He got some great responses from experienced swimmers covering all kinds of 5:4:1, Lo4 and Hi5 mixes, 45 minute intervals, preparatory porridge packing, hot water etc.  Everything he could want to know.  Except the truth. 

The truth is the top swimmers don’t like to share the secrets of their success.  They’ll spout about carbs and protein, but they’re really powering themselves on 5.1% malt and yeast.  Occasionally one of them will let their guard down and us lesser mortals will get a glimpse of how they’re really able to perform at the level they do.

Like this morning, when Bernie Lynch was overtired from powerwashing his garden and didn’t think to keep a towel over his nutritional stash.  He just threw a pair of jocks on the box.  Peroni.  That’s his secret.  That’s what makes him so successful.  Others have their own preferred brand but it’s clearly all down to their chosen drink.

A tired B. Lynch looking a bit confused as to why his picture was being taken.

OOOPs. The moment when he realises the secret is out.

So now you know, Mr. Ramsell.  Plenty of time to make a stop at some off-licences nutritional supply centres on the way up the country to Carlingford today.  Just a word of warning – overexposure to your chosen power supply can lead to meltdown.

Bernard after a bit of a day out from Dover, August 2016.

Swim Sponsors announced

During a review of the 2017 Myrtleville to Church Bay event, it was noted that some participants commented that there were only prizes for first to third in male and female categories.  Other boys and girls felt left out and went home feeling sad that they didn’t get a prize.  “Other swims give everyone a prize”, said one commenter.  “I deserve a medal too”, said Pat Lowry another sad boy.

Responding to this feedback, the non-committee of the Church Bay swim conducted a call for voluntary sponsors, in order that an expanded range of prizes would be on offer.  While we won’t have one for everybody in the audience, there will be more winning swimmers.  We are delighted to announce four new categories, prizes and sponsors.

Given that this is a new departure for our event, we felt it was appropriate to allow each sponsor to nominate – or indeed, invent – the category for which their prize would be awarded.  The criteria for each winner were decided by the various sponsors.

The additional prizes to be competed for on July 3rd are:

  • Category One:  First female swimmer named Sheehy who has a sister named Carmen
  • Prize: Romantic night for two in Charlie’s Bar on Union Quay
  • Sponsor: Denis Condon
  • Category Two: First male breast stroke swimmer from Barnsley who knows his way round the snap and sup in KC’s
  • Prize: 1 year subscription to Weight Watchers
  • Sponsor: Cáit Ní Ghréilligh
  • Category Three: First mustachioed Alcatraz swimmer named John, who helps out Penny Dinners a lot
  • Prize: Voucher entitling winner to pay for two weeks holiday in Lanzarote
  • Sponsor: Martina Kiely
  • Category Four: First brave boy named Pat who has a brother called Eoin and does paramedicy stuff
  • Prize:  A big hug from his fan club
  • Sponsor:  Denise Lowry

We are hopeful that we will receive further similar no-strings-attached sponsorship offerings.  Great to see the generosity of our sponsors.  

Don’t miss your chance to win!  Get entered now:

https://www.active.com/cork-countycork/water-sports/swimming/rnli-myrtleville-church-bay-2km-open-water-swim-2018

 

Notification of suspension

The Committee Of Leading Dignitaries Who Initiate Necessary Decisions  (C.O.L.D. W.I.N.D.) have met in closed session and are happy enough regret to announce that Denis Condon has been suspended from having a presence on the beach for one week.  (He still has to go down and clean off the shower area as part of his community service, though.  He has to stay on the concrete bit.  Watch him – make sure he does.)

The decision on this suspension has not been taken lightly but the weather has been shocking and somebody has to be responsible.  Mr. Condon is that person.

Ranting on the suspension, the Committee Chairperson said: 

“For feck sake, Denis, stop putting up on Facebook about beastie easties and lack of sand and all that crap.  Say nothing and the waves won’t be there.  The snow was bad enough but we left you off that one.  You’re just tearing the ass out of it now with this latest carry-on.”

This “say-nothing” approach has, of course, been scientifically proven to work. 

The Chairperson continued less rantingly:

“We look forward to welcoming Mr. Condon back to the beach and among the throngs of Myrtleville Swimmers, once he’s copped on about all this bad weather talk.”

By Order  —  C.O.L.D. W.I.N.D.

Mr. Denis Condon.   Completely to blame for the bad weather.

New 2 & 1/2 Dutchman Laps Award Announcement

As the home of swimming in Cork, Myrtleville is rightly seen as a leader in all areas of right-thinking-swimmy-stuff.  As part of our leadership role, the proliferation of “lap achievement” awards from smaller, more Westerly swimming groups (if three people on a good day counts as a group) has been noted.  Hats and T-Shirts abound for any-old-number-you-fancy-yourself, down West. 

In a carefully considered response, the Committee Of Nominations Around Really Tough Individual Swimmy Thing Stuff (work out that acronym for yourself) have today announced what is sure to become the pre-eminent, sought-after award for all aspiring sea swimmers, The Goat-Free Myrtleville Marathoner 2 & 1/2 Dutchman Laps Award.

Guideline map of Two and a half a laps with clear numbering system.

While other “awards” are handed out like confetti to anyone who picks a number of laps out of a hat (and then puts that number on a hat), our criteria are different (now there’s a surprise), transparent and are – in fact – the most tremendous criteria ever for an award system.

The numbering system shown above – as provided by Mr. James Shalloo – to determine how many half laps (#goat-free) have been achieved follows a sequential process in iterations of one from the first to the third in relevant marker points, each of which marks a point on which one of the sequential numbers is marked.  How clear is that?

If you’re still in doubt, here’s a clearer picture of a lap around the Dutchman to give you guidance.  Note lack of goats and the precise angles of turns required for lap measurement.  On this point, please note that submission of Strava data to verify laps is strictly forbidden.  It is understood from sources at the North Corkorea Camps that this data is being used to track the vast volumes of swimmers in Myrtleville, as a pre-cursor to further attempts to lure them away to the “fresh” water.

The Award will be overseen by internationally-renowned marathon swimming coach, Eilis Burns, who is herself one of the first proud recipients. Ms. Burns rightly attributes her international success in Spain a few years back to her annual dip in Myrtleville.  Ms. Burns will be supervising training plans and ensuring that all aspiring swimmers are fully prepared for this challenge.  She is pictured here at the Announcement of the Award and Inaugural Recipients.

As ever, Viva Myrtleville!

Dansformation Update

Denis was delighted with the response to his call for support for Daniel.  He mentioned that Caitriona (otherwise known as the Inspector of Weights and Measures) was already seeing results.  Keep up the cheerleading, everyone.

Of course, this type of endeavour is fraught with difficulty and temptations.  Everywhere you turn, people are saying “sure a biscuit would do you no harm….” or “you’ll have a few chips with that, go on, go on…”.  Beware, Daniel, underminers are everywhere.  Look at this one, for example – Jess the Temptress….

Stay strong, Daniel.  You have your supporters.  B.A. Richardson, says she’ll lamp anyone who gets in the way of your goals.   B.A. Baracus wouldn’t stand a chance.

It was also great to see that Daniel recognises everyone could do with a little help in defying the march of time.  He’s slathering on the Ageless Beauty Lotion (“designed for the sensitive man”) to complement his reductional measurement programme. 

What an inspiration to his followers everywhere.  (Does anyone in Barnsley read this stuff – I wonder what they’d think?). I reckon there’s a media career in the offing here.  Maybe a column in The Carrigdhoun – “Ask Daniel – How to Improve your Life, the Barnsley Way”.  Siobhan might get him in there – she’s huge in all those media circles..  #GODANIEL