An Evening with Eilis
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Tag Archives: Sea Swimming – Cork – Ireland
New 2 & 1/2 Dutchman Laps Award Announcement
As the home of swimming in Cork, Myrtleville is rightly seen as a leader in all areas of right-thinking-swimmy-stuff. As part of our leadership role, the proliferation of “lap achievement” awards from smaller, more Westerly swimming groups (if three people on a good day counts as a group) has been noted. Hats and T-Shirts abound for any-old-number-you-fancy-yourself, down West.
In a carefully considered response, the Committee Of Nominations Around Really Tough Individual Swimmy Thing Stuff (work out that acronym for yourself) have today announced what is sure to become the pre-eminent, sought-after award for all aspiring sea swimmers, The Goat-Free Myrtleville Marathoner 2 & 1/2 Dutchman Laps Award.
Guideline map of Two and a half a laps with clear numbering system.
While other “awards” are handed out like confetti to anyone who picks a number of laps out of a hat (and then puts that number on a hat), our criteria are different (now there’s a surprise), transparent and are – in fact – the most tremendous criteria ever for an award system.
The numbering system shown above – as provided by Mr. James Shalloo – to determine how many half laps (#goat-free) have been achieved follows a sequential process in iterations of one from the first to the third in relevant marker points, each of which marks a point on which one of the sequential numbers is marked. How clear is that?
If you’re still in doubt, here’s a clearer picture of a lap around the Dutchman to give you guidance. Note lack of goats and the precise angles of turns required for lap measurement. On this point, please note that submission of Strava data to verify laps is strictly forbidden. It is understood from sources at the North Corkorea Camps that this data is being used to track the vast volumes of swimmers in Myrtleville, as a pre-cursor to further attempts to lure them away to the “fresh” water.
The Award will be overseen by internationally-renowned marathon swimming coach, Eilis Burns, who is herself one of the first proud recipients. Ms. Burns rightly attributes her international success in Spain a few years back to her annual dip in Myrtleville. Ms. Burns will be supervising training plans and ensuring that all aspiring swimmers are fully prepared for this challenge. She is pictured here at the Announcement of the Award and Inaugural Recipients.
As ever, Viva Myrtleville!
Lip liner? Seriously?
It’s gone mad now. Everything. The world. Mad.
One constant I had to cling to in life was that the car boot is where you keep swimmy stuff. Everyone the same. Dumped there. Loads of it. Clean it out a couple of times a year. Grand. Comforting, though. You know your swimmy stuff is there. Togs. Goggles. Hats. Flasks. Towels. Lip liner. Wha?
“I’ve lip liner in the boot, if you need it”. Words I never thought I’d hear at the top of Myrtleville beach. Until yesterday. Then I noticed various ladies unwilling to get out of their cars until they had primped, preened and titivated to their satisfaction. 
Is this the Instagram generation taking us over? “I wouldn’t be seen dead at the Dutchman without lipstick….”? “It’s under 10c, I’d better use a different foundation….”?
Seriously, ladies, ye don’t need to be listening to Denis. Ye’re gorgeous just they way ye are. Clean out those boots now. Put the lippy back in the house where it belongs. Go for the natural look. Like these icons. Not a lip liner between them.
Really now. Kiss that lip liner goodbye.
The size of the fight in the dog…..
It’s a true saying – it’s not the size of the dog in the fight, but the size of the fight in the dog. Great examples spring to mind in sport, from the bould Joe Deane laying waste to massive Tipp defenders for years (never lost to Tipp in his whole career, our Deano) to this iconic Peter Stringer image – as he prepared to hold his own with men apparently twice his size…
Gwan ya good ting, Strings.
Now, to relate this to our own OWS world we have a new iconic image to treasure, as our local hero, Bernie Lynch, refuses to be intimidated by the giants of the sport around him and gets right in to the picture – as good as any of ’em, boy!
Gwan, Bernie! Hup ya boy ya!! Feck de begrudgers!!! Happy birthday, Ned 🙂
Vampire Swim 2017 – 28th October @ 12.00
Update from Aisling Barry:
The forecast for Saturday is looking good with light West winds. We have 58 people registered for the Vampire Swim and we have only ordered 100 hats. If you’re not registered we cannot guarantee you a hat. Email vampireswimcork@gmail.com to ensure you’re on the list.
Cost is €10 and all proceeds are going to the Children’s Unit in CUH.
To donate blood, ring the Blood Bank and make an appointment – details on http://www.giveblood.ie. Thanks to everyone who has done this already.
Remember – swimmers need to register their names to vampireswimcork@gmail.com. If you don’t register, you don’t get a hat.
Toes in the water at 12 midday on Saturday, 28th October. There will be a few nibbles afterwards on the beach. All are welcome – swimmers or not – but fancy dress expected!
Any questions contact Marie or Aisling on the email above.
Turkey Swims 2017
Mark your diaries for the Turkey Swim Dates 2017! Times, Locations & Dates below…
Remember this is open to everyone who swims regularly in the Sea, no matter where they normally swim. This is not exclusive to any club or group of swimmers, If you want to swim on a date, come along, find a swim buddy and join in, no matter where the swim is on! The Sandycove times are based on tides and at Myrtleville we can swim on any tide so there is a mix of Morning/afternoon times to try and suit all people over both days of the weekend. Wetsuit, Skins, Fins, all welcome!
How the ‘Turkey Swims’ work:
** Swimmers Sign In and pay €2 on the day of Swim. (someone will have a money box and sign-in sheet – probably Carol, Angela or Eoin).
** Money Collected goes towards Prizes drawn on 23rd Dec at Fountainstown, These include Butcher Vouchers (instead of an actual Turkey) and many other spot prizes (The Edge Vouchers / wine / chocolates / selection boxes etc!). We had over 30 prizes last year.
** Don’t Forget to Pay and Sign In, if you don’t you are not in the draw!
** Make however many swims you can.
** The more you swim, the more times you are entered for the ‘draw’.
** A Swim doesn’t have to be 30mins, no min/max time or distance, turn up and do what you feel comfortable with on the day. Togs or Wetsuit, up to you, swim safe, stay warm, swim with similar speed buddies. Turning Up for Fresh Air and a chat also counts, sometimes that’s what we need.
** The Swimmers Turkey Series is a Social Event for Cork OW swimming in the Winter.
Remember to bring your Flasks for after the swims for hot drinks to help you warm up, Nibbles are always welcome too!, there is talk of some people bringing cake! ideal way to practice for the Great Turkey Bake Off on Sat 23rd Dec! (See the Facebook event for more info)
East Cork Open Water Swimmers
MEETING NOTIFICATION:
East Cork Open Water Swimmers
Are meeting 11th October 8pm Midleton Park Hotel.
Wear swimming shirts if you have them.
Meet in the main bar.
Agenda – trying to establish regular swim times in East Cork.
Please spread the word to anyone who might be interested.
Christmas presents – sorted.
Wondering what to get for the swimmer (and car-owner) in your life, this Christmas? The year’s must-have fashion accessory, of course. The Myrtleville Swimmers windscreen decal. I didn’t even have to make this one up. Fair dues to Owen McSweeney.
You’d expect to find Kieran Murphy around anything like this – and sure enough…
Can’t wait to see Finbarr Hedderman’s car when he gets his one done. Bernard has already ordered one for Ann Lynch. Don’t tell her though, it’s a surprise.
Mabon Eve Swim – Thursday, September 21st @ 06.30
Unfortunately, due to a forecast Gale Force 8 on next Friday morning, the Second Annual Myrtleville Mabon Swim to welcome the Autumn Equinox has been cancelled.
We herewith announce The First Annual Myrtleville Mabon Eve Swim, which will take place at 6.30am on Thursday, September 21st.
21st of the month would be the equinox date for Spring, Summer and Winter so really the 22nd is a bit off – astronomically, I’d say, maybe. I’ll ask Jim Shalloo. He’s the man for that astronomical stuff. You should have heard him this morning out by Bunny’s – “Do you know your apogees and perigees?”, says he. Genius, boy, genius.
Anyway, back to the Swim. Thursday morning next the forecast looks OK for a bit of sunrise. 6.30am. Arrive quietly, in droves.
The Moon, Venus and Roches Point all shining on Myrtleville this Monday morning. Hopefully it will be like this on Thursday.
Myrtlevillians mistreated in Sandycove
Honestly – some people?! We do all this work to support Sandycove and our peaceful emissaries are grievously mistreated by way of thanks. The images from the events of Saturday are simply shocking. Those of a gentle disposition may wish to look away now (Denis, Eoin Lowry etc).
First up – staunch Myrtlevillian, Finbarr Hedderman was lured into a picture with horrendous grey branded products and some kind of goat flag. Ever the gentleman, he faked a smile but refused to wear any of them. Myrtleville to the core, is Finbarr. 
Further insult was heaped on the unsuspecting award-winning Siobhan Russell, when she was unceremoniously bundled up in some of the gear. We think this is an attempt to get star recognition of the goaty stuff, what with Siobhan’s high profile and access to all the top media outlets – this site, the Carrigdhoun etc.
The swim itself was where the real badness occurred – with outright assault on poor Bernard Lynch by person or persons unknown out the back of the Island. Eoin O’Riordan, by the way. Beaten and battered was Bernie – until he pulled away and bate the perpetrator. Gwan ya good ting, Bernie!!
The assault was raised with Rob De Bull after the event, in the hope that Eoin might get his just punishment. “I saw nuttin”, said Rob.
We’re sure there were other assaults, but Myrtlevillians swam on regardless. It’s worth noting that every single Myrtlevillian in the event beat Ned Denison. How about that? Doesn’t happen too often.
Darren Morrissey also showed the begrudgers what he thought of them. Gwan, Dazza!!
Things just got worse at the after-party. Senior statisticians pored over the purported results and noted numerous additions of time onto Myrtlevillians. Fake Times, said some American guy. 
Leading Myrtlevillians, Aisling and Finbarr, took to the stage to appeal for calm and a modicum of gratitude for all that Myrtevillians have done for little Sandycove. That went down well.
Eoin O’Riordan responded with shouts of “thanks, I’ll give ye thanks!!!” and went for Bernard again. How much punishment must the poor man take?
Salt was then rubbed in the wounds when our Mike Harris award was presented to Alex Jeffers. I’m sure Alex has done his bit for Sandycove – but nowhere near as much as myself and Bernard. Fix, like. Fix. They made our Finbarr stand in that pic too.
Still, there’s always positives amidst the gloom. The Irwin family had another great day out! Well done, Mae – and the first man home in togs, Neddie, of course 🙂
Myrtleville Swimmers 