Get in vogue

Trendsetters, that’s what we are down Myrtleville way.  I read Karl Henry in the Indo today…..“Get your togs on and jump in. Swimming in the sea is back in vogue”.  

Just what we dreamed of – to be “in vogue”.  Often we’ve marvelled as our style influencers shiver down the slip sashay down the catwalk in Myrtleville on a February morning with the crowds ooohing and aaahing about the latest look and how to “work it” – all the mnás gasping “oh, Denis/Daniel/Pat, you’re sooooo voguey with your big, BIG, orange float”.  Swoon, like – swoon.  Style and In-Vogue-ness, that’s what sea swimming is all about for us.

All vogued-up activities have to have a Season of course – Henley, Ascot, that kind of thing.  We’ve got the RNLI Myrtleville to Church Bay Swim on July 3rd, where fashions will be flaunted, style icons will point the way to the latest trends in togs and goggles and there’ll be a general level of vogueidity that even Anna Wintour couldn’t keep up with.

Influencers worth following – two men who never realised what trendsetters they were- or how much they were “in vogue”.  Will be signing autographs at the RNLI swim.

Don’t miss the most voguey event of the year – enter now on ActiveIt’ll be very much like this video, I’d say.  Any chance of a flash-mob, Joanne?

Advertisements

May – over, but not forgotten

May’s a tough month.  Lots of swimming because the sun’s up, but cold.  Very cold.  I love May.  Love it.  Bye bye, Pool.  The water feels cold – “I don’t care” as Trevor Malone said when he jumped in prior to his channel swim a few years ago.  Of course, Trevor followed that up with “I’m swimming to France”.  Most of us won’t be saying that!

Why am I talking about May?  In June?  I was too busy lately to spend time on important things – like reading loneswimmer.com.  So, I missed the article from two weeks ago that I’d asked for two years ago.  “Write fancy stuff about May, Donal”, I said.  “More of that flowery shite that Mr. Finbarr loves”.  “No”, said Donal.  Only a few years later, he changed his mind.

Click here for fancy writing about swimming in May in Ireland. 

Mr. Finbarr loved it, I’d say.  The Myrtlevillians even got a mention at the end!  FAME – at last!  You can’t go higher than loneswimmer.com.  Thanks, Donal!

Happy St. Patrick’s Day!

Here’s hoping your day is going well.  However it is going, it’s got to be better than poor Mike Harris’ morning.  After a beautiful swim in Myrtleville (sure where else would he be?) Mr. Harris was subjected to checking if someone needed a shower before being allowed into the sea.  No sign of the Lynx effect, chez Lynch.  Feck sake, there’s a special offer on deodorant in Centra Crosshaven.  Does he not know that?

Happy St. Patrick’s Day, everyone.  Good luck to Nemo and Ireland!

Notification of suspension

The Committee Of Leading Dignitaries Who Initiate Necessary Decisions  (C.O.L.D. W.I.N.D.) have met in closed session and are happy enough regret to announce that Denis Condon has been suspended from having a presence on the beach for one week.  (He still has to go down and clean off the shower area as part of his community service, though.  He has to stay on the concrete bit.  Watch him – make sure he does.)

The decision on this suspension has not been taken lightly but the weather has been shocking and somebody has to be responsible.  Mr. Condon is that person.

Ranting on the suspension, the Committee Chairperson said: 

“For feck sake, Denis, stop putting up on Facebook about beastie easties and lack of sand and all that crap.  Say nothing and the waves won’t be there.  The snow was bad enough but we left you off that one.  You’re just tearing the ass out of it now with this latest carry-on.”

This “say-nothing” approach has, of course, been scientifically proven to work. 

The Chairperson continued less rantingly:

“We look forward to welcoming Mr. Condon back to the beach and among the throngs of Myrtleville Swimmers, once he’s copped on about all this bad weather talk.”

By Order  —  C.O.L.D. W.I.N.D.

Mr. Denis Condon.   Completely to blame for the bad weather.

Sandycove Fundraiser – please support

As an extension of our #supporttheweakercounties initiative to try to keep swimming alive down West, we noted that our SISC friends are now resorting to promotion of money laundering activities – presumably to defray costs of goat feed etc.  

This email was received from Swim Sandycove’s google group email –

Once again, we earnestly exhort all Myrtlevillians to spare a thought for our less fortunate near-neighbours (the few of them that are left) and consider a swim near d’Island to keep up the pretence it’s a popular swimming venue.  While you’re there, see if there’s a poor box that you could slip a few quid into so they can abandon this money-laundering plan.  It’s not one of their better ones.

With the commitment of just a tiny percentage of the hundreds and hundreds (and hundreds) of Myrtleville Swimmers, we can help out these poor few unfortunates. 

 #supporttheweakercounties       #feedthegoats

New 2 & 1/2 Dutchman Laps Award Announcement

As the home of swimming in Cork, Myrtleville is rightly seen as a leader in all areas of right-thinking-swimmy-stuff.  As part of our leadership role, the proliferation of “lap achievement” awards from smaller, more Westerly swimming groups (if three people on a good day counts as a group) has been noted.  Hats and T-Shirts abound for any-old-number-you-fancy-yourself, down West. 

In a carefully considered response, the Committee Of Nominations Around Really Tough Individual Swimmy Thing Stuff (work out that acronym for yourself) have today announced what is sure to become the pre-eminent, sought-after award for all aspiring sea swimmers, The Goat-Free Myrtleville Marathoner 2 & 1/2 Dutchman Laps Award.

Guideline map of Two and a half a laps with clear numbering system.

While other “awards” are handed out like confetti to anyone who picks a number of laps out of a hat (and then puts that number on a hat), our criteria are different (now there’s a surprise), transparent and are – in fact – the most tremendous criteria ever for an award system.

The numbering system shown above – as provided by Mr. James Shalloo – to determine how many half laps (#goat-free) have been achieved follows a sequential process in iterations of one from the first to the third in relevant marker points, each of which marks a point on which one of the sequential numbers is marked.  How clear is that?

If you’re still in doubt, here’s a clearer picture of a lap around the Dutchman to give you guidance.  Note lack of goats and the precise angles of turns required for lap measurement.  On this point, please note that submission of Strava data to verify laps is strictly forbidden.  It is understood from sources at the North Corkorea Camps that this data is being used to track the vast volumes of swimmers in Myrtleville, as a pre-cursor to further attempts to lure them away to the “fresh” water.

The Award will be overseen by internationally-renowned marathon swimming coach, Eilis Burns, who is herself one of the first proud recipients. Ms. Burns rightly attributes her international success in Spain a few years back to her annual dip in Myrtleville.  Ms. Burns will be supervising training plans and ensuring that all aspiring swimmers are fully prepared for this challenge.  She is pictured here at the Announcement of the Award and Inaugural Recipients.

As ever, Viva Myrtleville!