With over 100 swimmers in the sea over the weekend in Myrtleville, congestion in the sea is becoming a problem.  Certain swimmers (Anne Sheehy No names, so as not cause embarrassment) are already notorious for cutting across other swimmers, even with only small groups in the water.

However, in defence of those unnamed parties, others contend that mnás just can’t swim straight (Denis Condon Again, no names) and are always causing trouble anyway, so they just can’t help themselves.  No comment on the veracity of this contention will be made on this site (although Eoin Lowry some people agreed with it).

It’s the sheer volume of swimmers coming to Myrtleville now that concerns us  – and how many there will be when the sea temperature increases.  It’s only March and we’re swamped with people.  What’s it going to be like on a warm Summer’s morning?

Projected Saturday morning swim numbers when sea warms up in Myrtleville.

Still, when you see it as beautiful as Saturday morning, where else would people go?

Myrtleville – Saturday 12th March: 7.40am – before the rush.

There’s lots of room and no better place to start the day.  Great to see so many people enjoying it.   We’ll just have to find space for us all 🙂

We all know it’s only a matter of time before our star photographer gets tempted by the big money offers from the USA to become a photographer to the other – non-swimmy – stars. Let’s face it, if she can make us lot look good in Myrtleville, she’ll have no hassles with Leonardo, Julia, Matt etc.

The move took a step closer today with five of her pics featured in the H2Open magazine competition on Facebook.   The winner will be published in the magazine.  Siobhan will definitely get the call-up from 20th Century Fox after that one.

Here’s one of the pictures – featuring the world’s most famous jumping swimmer, Breda Maguire, with a supporting cast of Harris and Cashell(s).   Well done, Siobhan!

Now,  how exactly does the voting work so the vote-buying committee can spring into action?

The picture below sent on by Frank Lynch of Alan Wilkie wearing The Hat, but swimming for another crowd in the excellent Sunday’s Well Masters Gala, started me thinking about flags of convenience.

First, an amended definition with some words deleted and some added to fit the specific circumstances we are dealing with here: 

Flag of convenience is the business Myrtleville practice of registering a merchant ship swimmer in a sovereign state goat-ridden island (GRI), different from that of the ship’s owners swimmer’s real and beautiful swimming location and flying that state’s GRI’s civil ensign goaty cap on the ship swimmer so as to enter certain events. Ships Swimmers are registered under flags of convenience to reduce operating costs for Myrtlevillians and avoid the regulations of the owner’s  swimmer’s country, while making practically a full-time job for Angela Harris registering Myrtlevillians with Swim Ireland.

Apparently there are so many Myrtlevillians using the flag of convenience these days, a new position for Flag Of Convience Secretary had to be created at an EGM down West. 

So we had Alan using the flag of convenience but wearing The Hat.   More disturbingly, at the same event, we had the blackmailing of Anthony Sloman.  Told he HAD to wear that red thing by the aforementioned, hard-working, registration-queen, Angela Harris – he was forced to be seen in public without his Myrtleville Hat.  His solution was to swim really fast so nobody could see him – just a kind of red blur.  Good thinking, Anthony.  He also washed his hair a lot afterwards.

It occurs to me that if so many Myrtlevillians keep taking up the flag of convenience, we could arrive at a situation where they could propose and carry votes at the AGM down West.  All we’d need to do is lay on a bus and say it’s a day out.  Nobody fills a day out like Myrtlevillians.  Next year’s AGM:

“I propose a club name-change to Myrtleville Swimmers Occasional Day-Trip Swimming Club”.  Carried by 172 votes.

“I propose a new Hat…….”.  Carried overwhelmingly….

Has anyone in SISC given any strategic thought to all of these flags of convenience members? They might now.

Safety bit first – nicely put by Ned Denison:

“It is still the coldest time of the year in the sea. For anyone swimming in just togs: there is no such thing as a safety stop in cold water. You need to keep moving. If your swimming partner is a bit slower…then swim loops around them or zig-zag behind them. Keep your stroke rate highish to keep your heart pumping warm blood around your body. Stopping for two minutes is just a bad idea. You get cold and if you are going to get any cramps – that will be the time.

2. There are two places that you want to be:

• swimming in the water, or
• “all the way out” – on land.

Over the years the injuries have typically happened in the middle. The slipway at Sandycove is concrete and if you are exiting when a wave hits….not good. The Myrtleville beach at knee depth is where you can get knocked over and hurt your knees.

Take a minute to look at the conditions before you get changed. Plan your entry between any wave sets and go steadily. Same coming out…look up and back when 25 meters from the end and plan and execute a steady exit.”

Waves were biggish on Saturday with the Easterly wind, but everyone got in and out safely. Some people completely ignored Ned’s rules though and not only stopped moving but did it while not “all the way out”.

Safety-flaunter Anne Sheehy.  Not a bit of a poser.  Oh no, not a bit.

Fancy new togs seem to be the order of the day.  Jim thought his were de latest fashion, but had to give way to Trevor for pure dead fancy, like.

Jim runs away and refuses to pose with Trevor as his togs are too fancy.

Daniel turned up and insisted on hugging the mnás while singing drunken ballads with his eyes closed – like Finbarr Furey.  “I wish I was…….lah, lah di lah di lah……join in, everybody……”

OK, OK, that’s just mean – so here’s the last word to Daniel in the picture of the weekend.  One man and his wave(s).  Nice work, Siobhan!

“Get a haircut and get a real job“, said George Thorogood.  I can handle the first bit, but on days like this I’m very conscious I don’t have the second one sorted.  I need a real job where I can go swimming in the middle of the day, whenever I want.  Just pure jealous.

Myrtleville swimming – 24 February, 2016

The 2016 Local Authority Press Release from Minister Simon Coveney’s office yesterday contained some very good news for Myrtleville.

As an investment in Marine Leisure, €45,000 has been allocated for development work on the slipway and access in Myrtleville to be undertaken by Cork County Council – incorporating shelter and changing facilities for all beach users.  This will be particularly appreciated by the growing numbers of people enjoying the beach through the Autumn and Winter months.

Tom Bermingham got straight to the point and asked “Will I see this in my lifetime?”.  The good news for Tom and the rest of us is that this funding has to be used in 2016, or it will be lost.  We can expect to see quite rapid progress and completion in this calendar year.

Our thanks and appreciation to Simon Coveney for his continuous support on this project and for taking the time to visit the beach to discuss it recently.  This is a genuine good news story for us all!

Simon Coveney in Myrtleville in January.

With so many of our swimming colleagues falling for the “charms” of the dark side (otherwise known as pool swimming), some have now begun to suffer the consequences. Pools are harbourers of germs, holders of buckets of bacteria and the fastest known way to spread a cough.  Pool swimmers are opened up to a vast array of infections.

Former Open Water Swimmer, B. Lynch, has spotted a commercial opportunity in this sea of bugs and will shortly be marketing the new Anti-Germ-Whole-Face-Bacteria-Deflecting-Snorkel-Mask (Patent Pending).   He is particularly confident that the triathlete market will be extremely lucrative, as no triathlete can possibly train or compete without the latest, hippest and most expensive gear. 

Modelling the prototype here, Mr. Lynch is sure that no self-respecting swimmer will be seen in a pool without one.  Available from all good sports shops and off the back of Denis Cregan-Condon’s van, once he gets some knock-offs made up in China.

For those not willing to invest in the mask – keep swimming in the sea.  Germ free – relatively.

The forecast for the next ten days shows lots of North and West in the winds and overall they look quite light.  Some days with a little rain, but mostly dry.  The wind forecast should mean calm conditions in Myrtleville and a great chance to get in in the sea and get through February in style.

You won’t be alone.  There’s a group there each morning at 10am during the week; the usual 08.15 Saturday swim and quite often two swims on a Sunday – 10am and 12.00.  There’s no excuse to be stuck in the pool – got some saline to clear your head.

Myrtleville in the sunshine – 24 February, 2013

Meteorology is the interdisciplinary scientific study of the atmosphere.   There are many schools of thought and systems in the field of meteorology.  As some of you may know, in Myrtleville we are followers of the Condon System of meteorological reporting and prediction.  This is often known as DWx2, or by its full title of “d’wedder and d’water”.

It has been noted by some observers that the Condon System often produces forecasts – or even current weather reports – which are at odds with what appears to be reality.  For instance, you could be standing on the slip in Myrtleville with the rain lashing down and twelve foot waves hopping off the beach.  Denis will loudly proclaim: “d’wedder’s gettin’ better and d’water’s roastin’ –  feckin’ roastin’, boy!” (or mná, as appropriate).

Following this proclamation by Denis, you are then left with the choice of:

1. disagreeing with him – thus creating a doubt in your mind about whether you’ll be able to get in to the quite-evidently bloody freezing water – or,
2. agreeing with him – thus tricking yourself into thinking it’ll be ok, as you shuffle down the beach towards the water reciting, “Denis says it’s warm! Denis says it’s warm!”

Of course, everyone chooses to go with option B – it makes life easier and we know he’s right that we will be glad we did it.

Still DWx2 is a bit confusing, so by way of public service here’s an explanation of how it works.  Suppose, for the purposes of illustration, that the Met Eireann weather forecast is as follows:

“SW gales, gusting to force 9.  Sea temperatures of 8c and consistent, heavy rain.”

The DWx2 forecast would then read: “Fierce interestin’ swimmin’. Loadsa shelter in under Bunny’s.  Roastin’ water – about 14 degrees and a nice shower to keep de waves down”.  In other words, “d’wedder’s grand, boy/mná – and d’water’s feckin’ gorgeous”.

You can apply this system to any other forecast you wish because – in the Condon School – “d’wedder’s always de berries and d’water’s ALWAYS roastin’ or – at worst – toasty”.  Oh, and “ye’re all fabulous and fantastic for swimmin’ in de sea”.

Here’s Kieran Murphy’s take on the Condon forecasting system:

Well done to all of the large group who have stayed with the sea this Winter.   Mr. Motivation, Denis Condon, has been attracting crowds for his 10am swims every week day and it’s fantastic to see it.  The fact that he’s lying through his teeth – or completely deluded – about it being “toasty, roasting or too hot” every day hasn’t fazed anyone.  As Denis knows, once you get in – you’ll love it!  It doesn’t matter whether you’re in a wetsuit, togs, boots, hats or whatever you want – just keep swimming 🙂

Kieran Murphy captured some of the fun and beauty of Winter swimming with his drone.

Of course, as always, we’re spoiled with the great pictures Siobhan Russell gives us.

Winter swimming, beautiful setting and lots of good company.  You can’t beat Myrtleville.