It’s great to see so many new swimmers arriving in Myrtleville.  Welcome to you all.  

A very common question as newcomers stand on the beach for the first time is “what’s my line?”.   The response often given – even by people who have been swimming for a while – is to head towards Roches Point as a directional aid for getting to the Dutchman rocks. It’s easy to say and uses the most prominent feature on the landscape for navigation, but that’s not good advice.  Heading for Roches Point puts you outside the Dutchman and into marine traffic area – boats, in other words – who won’t be looking for swimmers.

The safe line is to sight on the last house on the coast on your left – the yellow one with the high triangular gable end, right on the Dutchman.  However, lots of people prefer a mark a bit further out to sight on.  For those swimmers, the furthest line out should be on the cottages inside Roches Point – following the green line in the pic below.  The lighthouse is a great help – but by keeping it on your right, not directly ahead.  Whatever you do, don’t sight on another prominent feature, the tower on the right of the picture below. Yes, it’s high up so you can see it, but it’s also way, way off where you want to be heading.  If you’re seeing that in front of you, start heading left – fast.

On the way back, aim for the beach or inside Bunny’s.  Well inside.  Don’t aim for Bunny’s as – again – you’re out where the boats are.  

For all the new swimmers, take the time to read the resources on this page:

https://myrtlevilleswimmers.com/routes-and-safety/

It’s worth taking the time.  It’s your safety – and you’re worth it 🙂

Ah for feck sake.  Have ye seen this?  First he had them feeding him.  Then he exiled the ones not feeding him.  Now he has the chosen few brushing his hair???  What the hell is he putting in the water at those 9.00 swims?

Denis – you’d be in awe of him at this stage.

Standing tall and refusing to be pushed by Denis into swimming only in Fountaina, Breda Maguire was greeted for the dawn swim today by cheering crowds of supporters and anti-Condon activists (eight of us, although the cheering was very quiet at 6am).

Breda Maguire – stiff upper lip (or a big smile anyway), painted toenails and an admirable refusal to be bullied out of Myrtleville by Denis “Feckin” Condon.

To further rub it in to Denis, Breda had prepared a few snacks for us when we were finished the swim.

A few snacks – Breda-style.

 Bet you’re sorry you stayed in bed now, Denis.  You’ll be lucky to get a packet of Taytos at that 9.00 swim.  Breda’s here to stay.

The CCCCC (Central Committee for Counteraction of Condon Campaigns) met in emergency session this morning, to deal with an assault of negative waves on the positive vibes found in Myrtleville.   This attack is being orchestrated by Denis “It’s my beach and where’s the cake” Condon.  He has determined that there are now too many swimmers in Myrtleville and he has vowed to get them to move to other locations.

It may be recalled that action had to be taken in 2015 to combat Mr. Condon’s efforts to get ordinary, decent swimmers into the “fresh” water Camps of North Corkorea.  This latest Denisian effort is the culmination of his extreme dissatisfaction with  – Quotes:

• Shaggers parkin’ in my feckin’ space
• Feck all cake from de mnás – if dey’re not feedin’ us, dere’s no room
• Dat bloody O’Neill bashin’ into me and my mott
• Dat Maguire wan keepin’ de cakes in Fountaina

His plan is to be found in the last grievance quoted.  He has taken aim at poor, unsuspecting Breda Maguire and is encouraging all swimmers to join her in Fountainstown, or as Denis calls it (quote from Facebook) “BREDA MAGUIRE bay where she now has move her feeding station to”.  

Denis gleefully outlining his master plans to various associates this morning as he schemes how to get “his” Myrtleville back for himself and his followers and feeders. “‘Tis lovely over dere with Breda, I’ll tell ’em.  Dey’ll fall for dat”.

Other perceived Condon issues and grievances were noted by the CCCCC. However, after due consideration and in a lengthy ruling by its standards, the Committee issued the following statement:  “Shag him.”

Following this ruling, we now advise all swimmers to beware of Denis promising good times and unlimited cake just over the road in Fountainstown.  Myrtleville is where it’s at. He’ll just have to make room.  Or join us for this any morning – lots of room at 6am, Denis. No cake, though.

Glen Barton did great work capturing the magic of Myrtleville at dawn this morning.  So few people realise that just before dawn, the star display forms…

….then when the sun rises, you get this beautiful vista as swimmers go in.  In this case, Rebeca Power gets in and is then followed by a big, slow-moving creature (not a basking shark this time).

And you chose to have a lie in?  Or worse – the pool?  Bad decision.  Friday at 06.10 anyone?