Thanks to Finbarr Hedderman, the first draft of the 2015 Open Water Swim calendar is now available here.
The highlight, of course, is the RNLI Myrtleville to Church Bay swim on July 4 😊 but there are lots of other great events to plan for.
In breaking business, legal and sporting news this column can exclusively reveal that the feuding empires of the Condon and Harris Shower companies have let business logic come to the fore and have joined forces as HARCON Plc. This new entity will combine the polished, established credentials of the Harris Shower company with the guerilla marketing tactics of the younger upstarts in Condon Showers, to seek world domination of the post-OW swim shower market. All ongoing legal actions between the two companies worldwide have been dropped.
Chairman and CEO of HARCON Plc on a corporate day out to celebrate the new company.
Speaking at the company launch, Mike Harris (Chairman), commented that combining the first three letters of each of the existing company names to create HARCON seemed the perfect naming solution. Mr. Harris noted that they had considered the first three letters of his name and the last three of Mr. Condon’s. However, it was felt that HARDON Plc could potentially have some negative connotations. Given that same was also anatomically impossible after a cold water swim this might open the door to misinterpretation by customers – with potential legal challenges. “And we’ve had enough of those”, said Mr. Harris, wryly.
New promotional shot of the HARCON Shower in use.
This is a good-news business story for all concerned – except the customers, as shower prices have now been doubled. “Monopoly?”, CEO Condon was quoted as saying, “I haven’t played that for years. ”
Delighted that all the issues are resolved, Chairman of HARCON Plc, Mr. Mike Harris, made his way to the mecca of OW swimming and gave thanks.
Thanks very much to Eilis Burns for an excellent talk last night. Those who didn’t know her got an insight into why she’s the best coach around and those who did know her still learned something new – or got told they couldn’t swim, like Bernard.
Eilis with the audience fully engaged! Thanks also to Yvonne for tech support.
Eilis & swim model Cashell show how it’s done.
Eilis refused any money for the night but insisted on a T-Shirt – ‘priceless’, she said.
Bernard Lynch looking delighted to have found a new master salesperson in Ros O’Brien. Ros is now in charge of all T-Shirt sales!
Pat Higgins and Tom Bermingham – sorted for the Summer with new T-Shirts.
Some similarities in fashion sense beginning to emerge.
Unusual one of Siobhan in front of the camera – with Breda Maguire and Barbara-Anne Richardson.
What did I learn tonight…?
The venue is the Coastguard Station in Crosshaven. If you don’t know where it is, it’s opposite the entrance to the RCYC on the way in to Crosshaven or view it on Google Maps on this link:
Location: http://bit.ly/1wZM7p0
Don’t be late for this woman – even if she is 🙂
I get asked sometimes where I come up with the stuff that appears on this site – the less sane stuff, rather than the public service announcements. I’m not a bit shy about it – all the strange things that occur to me and get posted here are from when I’m on LSD.
Some people swear by Speed to get the blood pumping and creative juices flowing. Ned Denison, for instance, is a Speed Freak of the highest order. When I try Speed, I just lose the run of myself and flail around like a lunatic chicken. So, I stick with LSD – it’s calmer, less frenetic but still gets you there.
I find LSD takes me out of my normal setting and allows my thoughts to wander. Here’s me physically in the Carrigaline pool, but this is how I see myself in my head….
I can’t wait for the Summer – getting out in the open is better for LSD.
Sometimes, really strange thoughts do intrude. Ooooooh. Bad trip.
Overall, though, I have to say – LSD: I’d recommend it to anyone.
The Fourth Aphorism of the Secret Doctrine of the Rosicrucians tells us that The One becomes Many. The Unity becomes Diversity. The Identical becomes Variety. Yet the Many remains One; the Diversity remains Unity; and the Variety remains Identical. Despite years of study, I didn’t have a notion what that meant, until it all became clear to me when I saw the pictures from the weekend. There was One… 
…..who became Many….. 
…..but still, as we say in Cork….there’s always one…. 
Gordon’s friend, Wilson, above is courtesy of Kieran Murphy. Another deep thinker, like myself.
From Carol Cashell and Angela Harris:
To welcome the change of season to Spring and daylight saving, we are proposing a mini series of swims over Easter Weekend. The Idea is similar to the Turkey Swims, it’s all about the craic (and Cake)!. No payment, No prizes, just times to add to your Diaries that we can have groups swimming. The Sandycove times are from the schedule and Myrtleville swim 08:15 every Sat and 18:00 every Monday (from Easter).
In BOLD I have ‘Bunny Times’ where we will try and get a good group to swim together and have a chat (maybe no cake on Friday!, but other days will be fine) I have also listed other times if people can’t make a Bunny Swim Time. (There is a good chance to catch the sunrise on Good Friday @ 7am!.)
So pick what suits you, hopefully weather will behave and it’ll be inviting enough to get people back in the sea after winter hibernation, and the seasoned winter swimmers will have company for a change.
Remember, if this is your first weekend back, be smart, don’t stay in too long, swim with someone for company, and wrap up warm afterwards. This weekend schedule is all about starting to reacclimatise and the social catch-up!
| EASTER WEEKEND | LOCATION | BUNNY TIME | Other Swim Times |
| FRI 3RD APR | MYRTLEVILLE | 07:00 | SC – 16:30 |
| SAT 4TH APR | MYRTLEVILLE | 08:15 | SC – 17:00 |
| SUN 5TH APR | SANDYCOVE | 17:30 | MV – 12:00 |
| MON 6TH APR | SANDYCOVE | 18:00 | MV – 18:00 |
Suggested garb for swims.
Former Sandycove swimmer and now committed Myrtlevillian, Gordon Adair, had a tough time recently when he tried to go back for a swim around the Island down West. He was met by some of the Desperados – Mister and The Bull. For them, you’re in or you’re out – and after breaking bread (or eating cake) in Myrtleville so regularly, they told Gordon – you’re out.
The confrontation was witnessed by a local songsmith and he composed these words to commemorate the events. I’m not sure of the tune – or even if it has one – but there’s definitely a John Spillane vibe to it (tuneless, in other words).
” Oh listen now and you shall hear of the trying times of Gordon Adair.
A Sandycove swimmer he thought that he was, until he met Breda and Marie and Ros.
They not only swam, but often they’d bake and Gordon Adair is a fiend for a cake.
He found himself often on Myrtleville’s shore – not lapping around Sandycove any more.
For breakfast he went and he loved the crack. As time it slipped by – would he ever go back?
“Sure no-one will notice and why should they care? I’ll be alright”, hoped Gordon Adair.
Oh now he was in for a mighty big land, for some Sandycove Swimmers his downfall had planned.
He left it a long time but then realised, he’d better go lapping or be criticised.
To the Island went Gordon to lap it in full, but waiting there for him – Mister and the Bull.
“We’ve seen you on FaceBook, you Myrtlevillian. You sold out the Island for brownies and flan.”
“You’re swimming there daily you traitor, Adair. You’ve even had one of those Hats on your hair.”
“You’re not swimming round here”, said they with a sneer – “But”, said poor Gordon, “I’m doing Windermere”.
“Ha,” says the Bull, “sure that’s only a Lake. You won’t need to train here – go back to your cake”.
Gordon Adair tried again to get in, but his hundred-lap hat, they put in the bin.
They did it to Gordon a lesson to teach. “Feck that”, says our hero, “I’m off to the Beach”.
To Myrtleville’s sands he pointed his way, hoping that this was a chocolate cake day.
So here ends the story of Gordon’s ordeal. He was badly treated, I’m sure we all feel.
But never fear people, the tide will go out and those desperados – he’ll see them about.
They’ll want to come swimming at our lovely beach and Gordon will charge them in tarts, made of peach.”
Gordon – overdoing the cake?
They feed him…..
…..and they wipe his face. Why would he go anywhere else?
As he swims at 10.30 during the week, many of you may not be aware of the huge following Denis Condon has built up. It began when he was swimming alone, occasionally. Never one to shirk on safety, he invested in a swim float and deploys it on every swim.
Denis – before the Denisians arrived.
What he didn’t expect was the wave of followers who took his lead. Recognising that if the top athletes like Denis had a balloon, they should have one too, they flocked to the beach. Known to some as De Boys with De Buoys, they proudly identify themselves as The Denisians. Some days, you’d hardly get in the water with all the crowds he has down with him. There are so many, Denis had to give them numbers as he couldn’t remember their names.
Denis and Friends on a quiet Thursday in Myrtleville. I think someone should check how no. 513 and 552 are getting on.
Of course, no matter how many followers he gets and how exalted his status, there’s still the banes of his life to put up with. Mnás, Denis, Mnás.
Mnás – in action. No respect for De Man.
The first year I swam in February was 2012 – in a wetsuit. I got brain freeze, followed by dizziness, followed by a sharp exit from the water after eight minutes (that had a bit to do with the seals in Adrigole Harbour too, but mostly the cold). Clearly (looking at the land temperatures table below), I was a total wimp. On average, February 2012 on land was way warmer than this year – so we can expect the sea was too!
Mean temperature in degrees Celsius for Cork_Airport
| Year | Jan | Feb | Mar | Apr | May | Jun | Jul | Aug | Sep | Oct | Nov | Dec | Annual |
| 2015 | 5.4 | 4.8 | 5.1 | ||||||||||
| 2014 | 5.5 | 5.0 | 6.9 | 9.4 | 11.0 | 14.5 | 16.3 | 14.2 | 14.8 | 11.2 | 8.4 | 6.3 | 10.3 |
| 2013 | 6.0 | 5.1 | 4.3 | 7.4 | 10.0 | 13.5 | 17.3 | 15.3 | 13.5 | 11.9 | 6.7 | 6.4 | 9.8 |
| 2012 | 7.2 | 7.4 | 8.3 | 7.1 | 10.5 | 12.4 | 13.8 | 15.0 | 12.6 | 9.2 | 6.5 | 6.5 | 9.7 |
| mean | 5.6 | 5.7 | 6.9 | 8.4 | 10.9 | 13.5 | 15.3 | 15.2 | 13.3 | 10.5 | 7.8 | 6.1 | 9.9 |
My wimpiness in 2012 is confirmed by the many Myrtlevillians who made the decision to swim through the Winter this year and have taken any weather thrown at them. Dizziness? Brain freeze? No problem!! The coldest month is over and we now have up to twenty new year-round swimmers. Very well done to everyone. A few of the many pics Siobhan took during the month….
So now we can all agree – the open water season runs from January 1st to December 31st. We’ll all be roasted in the Summer.
Myrtleville Swimmers 