Former Sandycove swimmer and now committed Myrtlevillian, Gordon Adair, had a tough time recently when he tried to go back for a swim around the Island down West.  He was met by some of the Desperados – Mister and The Bull.  For them, you’re in or you’re out – and after breaking bread (or eating cake) in Myrtleville so regularly, they told Gordon – you’re out.

The confrontation was witnessed by a local songsmith and he composed these words to commemorate the events.  I’m not sure of the tune – or even if it has one – but there’s definitely a John Spillane vibe to it (tuneless, in other words).

” Oh listen now and you shall hear of the trying times of Gordon Adair.

A Sandycove swimmer he thought that he was, until he met Breda and Marie and Ros.

They not only swam, but often they’d bake and Gordon Adair is a fiend for a cake.

He found himself often on Myrtleville’s shore – not lapping around Sandycove any more.

For breakfast he went and he loved the crack. As time it slipped by – would he ever go back?

“Sure no-one will notice and why should they care?  I’ll be alright”, hoped Gordon Adair.

Oh now he was in for a mighty big land, for some Sandycove Swimmers his downfall had planned.

He left it a long time but then realised, he’d better go lapping or be criticised.

To the Island went Gordon to lap it in full, but waiting there for him – Mister and the Bull.

“We’ve seen you on FaceBook, you Myrtlevillian.  You sold out the Island for brownies and flan.”

“You’re swimming there daily you traitor, Adair.  You’ve even had one of those Hats on your hair.”

“You’re not swimming round here”, said they with a sneer – “But”, said poor Gordon, “I’m doing Windermere”.

“Ha,” says the Bull, “sure that’s only a Lake. You won’t need to train here – go back to your cake”.

Gordon Adair tried again to get in, but his hundred-lap hat, they put in the bin.

They did it to Gordon a lesson to teach.  “Feck that”, says our hero, “I’m off to the Beach”.

To Myrtleville’s sands he pointed his way, hoping that this was a chocolate cake day.

So here ends the story of Gordon’s ordeal.  He was badly treated, I’m sure we all feel.

But never fear people, the tide will go out and those desperados – he’ll see them about.

They’ll want to come swimming at our lovely beach and Gordon will charge them in tarts, made of peach.”

Gordon – overdoing the cake?

They feed him…..

…..and they wipe his face. Why would he go anywhere else?