Keeping it real, down Myrtleville way

The LoneSwimmer himself, Mr. Buckley, succumbed to a moment of pique a while back when confronted with the Lidl ad for togs.  He threw down the goggles/gauntlet publicly (or on twitter anyway) and challenged the model to an open water swim.  No response from the model.

The unwittingly offensive Lidl ad, with the non-responsive model who won't race LoneSwimmer.

The unwittingly offensive Lidl ad, with the non-responsive male model who won’t race the LoneSwimmer.

I was reminded of the LoneSwimmer’s challenge by another togs ad from H2Open:

More common or garden open water swimmers, like you'd see around the beach any day.

More common or garden open water swimmers, like you’d see around the beach any day.  Perhaps not our beach, though.

As the advertising industry is clearly interested in realistic portrayals of open water swimmers, I did a quick trawl of some of Siobhan Russell’s pictures.  I’ve pasted below a suitable portfolio of models, all available to pose for togs ads at any time.  Just come calling H2Open, Lidl et al – we’ve got what you need to shift togs by the bucket-load.

John and Frank - who wouldn't want to buy their togs?

John and Frank – who wouldn’t want to buy their togs?  John is available for assignments in the US while he’s over swimming to Alcatraz shortly.

Togs-R-Us - a range of options here for the ad agencies. As an aside, I bet not one of those Lidl and H2Open models could have kept up with Brenda for 13k across Galway Bay.

Togs-R-Us – a range of options here for the ad agencies. As an aside, I wonder how the models would have got on with Brenda for 13k across Galway Bay.

Festive togs market sown up by K. Murphy. Ad agencies beating down his door.

As Christmas products appear in shops already, the Festive togs advertising market should be sown up by K. Murphy. Ad agencies will be beating down his door.  He’s already well know in the wetsuit marketing arena – Huub, specifically.

Open water, sea swimming in Cork, Ireland.

And finally, for any togs marketer looking to corner the grey dollar in togs – the main men for the mature market: Pat and Tom – keeping it real, 365 days a year.

All enquiries for modelling work for any of our portfolio above should be addressed to Condons’ Cuties Model Agency, Slip Top, Myrtleville, Cork. 

Note: Models shown are for illustration only and may not be actual size, but they can all swim in the sea. Quite well, actually.

Foxy swim on Saturday, August 20th at 08.15

From Joleen “Foxy Loxy” Cronin:

Hey guys, we put the Saturday 8.15am swim into the programme for the Irish Redhead Convention on 20 August. No idea how many keen redheads will turn up for a splash, but it would be really great if as many of us regulars can be there to welcome them to the beach and show them what’s what!

It’s the same day as Garnish island swim, but that’s happening later on that day, so hoping to have a few around in the morning. Thanks, much appreciated x

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Hat Holidays

The Hat never rests – trotting the globe to keep Myrtlevillians company.  Some keep it closer to home – the 40 Foot in Dublin, for instance.

The Hat at the 40 Foot in Dublin

Others head for more far-flung destinations.  Around Europe….

The Hat at Lake Garda in Italy - brought Alan Wilkie along this time.

The Hat at Lake Garda in Italy – brought Alan Wilkie along this time.

The Hat with Caroline O'Leary in Rotterdam - definitely not relaxing on holiday: - 4th in the world in Elite Class T3 Para Triathlon World Championships.

The Hat with Caroline O’Leary in Rotterdam – definitely not relaxing on holiday: – 4th in the world in Elite Class T3 Para Triathlon World Championships. Photo by Natalia Guzenko, from Triathlon Ireland site.

No matter how far it’s flung, the Hat keeps going.

The Hat with Eamonn Hughes in the Caribbean for his 50th!

The Hat with Eamonn Hughes in the Caribbean for his 50th!

It’s a bit of a cultural icon, really.  Even in the Ganges.

The Hat with Claire Canning in the Ganges.  Look at the local version of Siobhan Russell just behind her!

The Hat with Claire Canning in the Ganges. Look at the local version of Siobhan Russell just behind her!

The Hat with Claire Canning in the Himalayas.

The Hat with Claire Canning in the Himalayas.

We’re not even in August yet.  Wonder where else it will go this year?

Jellyfish in Myrtleville

Siobhan Russell took this picture of a jelly about 100m off the beach this morning.  Doesn’t look like a compass jelly – looks like a Lion’s Mane.  Be careful out there, folks.  We’d be delighted to hear from anyone who can tell us it’s not a Lion’s Mane, of course!!

No, this isn’t one of my jokes.

Open water, sea swimming in Cork, Ireland.

Lion’s Mane? Sighted in Myrtleville this morning. One to avoid.

Galway Girls – ready to go!

Brenda Sisk and Marie Watson have left no stone unturned in their preparations for the Galway Bay swim next Saturday.  While many of us have seen their efforts in the pool and sea right through last Winter, there’s more than just training needed to make a swim – and swimmer – successful.  Thankfully, the Galway Girls seem to have it all in hand.

They’ve got the promotional posters and star paparazzi to record the events.

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They’ve got the nails painted aerodynamically and also to look good for the aforementioned paparazzi person.

Marie Watson - attention to detail is admirable.

Marie Watson – attention to detail is admirable.

They’ve had a kiss for good luck from the main man, Mr. Redmond (Brenda has to share it – Marie grabbed it).

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Finally, they’ve recognised the risk that their spirits may flag in mid-swim, so they’ve employed the services of Ann “The Dominator Motivator” Smyth as crew.

I'd keep swimming if I was ye, girls. Ann Smyth as boat crew...

I’d keep swimming if I was ye, girls. Ann Smyth as boat crew…

Barbara Anne Richardson and Brendan O’Brien are going for the swim on Saturday too – but I didn’t have incriminating photos of them, so they’ll have to make do with “Good Luck!!”.  Good luck to all four, in fact 🙂

Tea by the Sea

Here’s one to completely piss off anyone stuck in an office.  Me.

Hardcore Myrtlevillian swimmers sticking rigidly to their training diets at Tea by the Sea in the Pine Lodge, Myrtleville.  Yes, I do wish I was there.  Yes, I am jealous.

Myrtlevillians enjoying Tea by the Sea at the Pine Lodge.

Myrtlevillians enjoying Tea by the Sea at the Pine Lodge.

Drop in local sea temperature explained

Sea swimmers in Cork have been wondering for some weeks now why the normal Summer temperatures have reversed, leaving us with sea temps as low as 11c on some days.  Not content to accept standard weather-related explanations, we dispatched intrepid reporters to investigate and can now reveal the cause.

Our investigators were led initially to news of rumblings of discontent down West.  Apparently a certain Vermontian was unhappy at the thought of running his Distance Camp in balmy 14 or 15c waters, as we had in June.  An unhappy Ned Denison is not a pretty sight.  Here’s a file pic of same.

No, that’s not a good one.  Here’s the one we meant.

Open water sea swimming in Cork, Ireland

Ned – not happy.

Not even Ned can change the weather, though.  Can he?  The answer was revealed yesterday with photos taken off Oysterhaven of a temporary moorings licenced by the Dept. of the Marine.

The moorings are registered to a “Mr. N. Den-iceman” – a shoddy attempt to throw us off track.  The steadily-melting glacier has spread freezing water, explaining the drops in sea temperatures and making Ned – and not another feckin’ soul – happy.

Turtles on the way

Eoin Lowry began the big day, leaving Shakespeare beach at 06.27 this morning and the team is flying so far.  Click on the tracker here.

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Follow updates on Twitter @MulcahyMaeve. She’s doing a great job!

Myrtle Turtles flying the flag on Galivant this morning.

Myrtle Turtles flying the flag on Galivant this morning.