Sea swimmers in Cork have been wondering for some weeks now why the normal Summer temperatures have reversed, leaving us with sea temps as low as 11c on some days.  Not content to accept standard weather-related explanations, we dispatched intrepid reporters to investigate and can now reveal the cause.

Our investigators were led initially to news of rumblings of discontent down West.  Apparently a certain Vermontian was unhappy at the thought of running his Distance Camp in balmy 14 or 15c waters, as we had in June.  An unhappy Ned Denison is not a pretty sight.  Here’s a file pic of same.

No, that’s not a good one.  Here’s the one we meant.

Ned – not happy.

Not even Ned can change the weather, though.  Can he?  The answer was revealed yesterday with photos taken off Oysterhaven of a temporary moorings licenced by the Dept. of the Marine.

The moorings are registered to a “Mr. N. Den-iceman” – a shoddy attempt to throw us off track.  The steadily-melting glacier has spread freezing water, explaining the drops in sea temperatures and making Ned – and not another feckin’ soul – happy.