Economic recovery threatened by Myrtleville popularity

The Central Statistics Office (Leisure Division) have noted a marked decline in industrial output in the Munster region in their 2015 report.  Commenting on the report today, senior inspector, Dougal O’Hanlon stated that the trend had been accelerating since 2013 but had really effected the statistics in the last twelve months.  Predictions of further decreases in commercial activity are now built into the CSO Data Models for 2016.

“It’s down to those bloody swimmers”, Mr. O’Hanlon postulated. “Any day of the week, there’s gangs of them down in Myrtleville.  Do none of them do any work?”  He cited examples of dozens of fine fit specimens of humanity out gallivanting during the working day (and Denis Condon was there too). “Why aren’t they indoors, going pasty and contributing to the economy?  That’s what I want to know.”, Dougie continued.

Images taken during normal 9-5 workdays were produced to support his argument, with some samples below:

Open water, sea swimming in Cork, Ireland.

Work? Feck that – we’re going swimmin’.

Open water, sea swimming in Cork, Ireland.

Accusations of photoshopping to make the January scene look so tempting to those stuck in their offices were denied by Swimming Spokespersons.

“‘Tis indoors like the rest of us that crowd would want to be,” expanded Doug, as his real views came to the fore. “We’re feckin’ stuck, so why should they be out having the craic?  Twenty five of them were down there just yesterday – on a feckin’ Thursday!! Gangs more of them today – it’s just not on, not on at all, at all.  They’d want to be thinking about contributing to the economy, not enjoying themselves.”

“Get back to work de feckin’ lotta ye,” concluded The Dougmeister, as his presentation descended into chaos with a further diatribe of jealousy towards Myrtlevillians.

The Irish Fiscal Advisory Council have now been asked to intercede and rule that the exponential growth of swimmers in Myrtleville is damaging the green shoots of the economic recovery by showering them in salt water, which green shoots don’t like.

Tide-dependent swim schedule

I noticed that other swim locations – not as blessed as ours – are busy preparing their swim schedules for 2016.  These depend on whether the tide is in or out.  Of course in Myrtleville, The World’s No.1 Swimming Spot, we don’t have that problem.

However, I’d hate for our multitudes of swimmers to feel left out, so a committee was formed to deal with the issue. The Committee For Designing Spurious Scheduling Tools Which Are Not Required But We Want One Anyway (TCFDSSTWANRBWWOA) have – after extensive research – produced the following:

Myrtleville Swim Schedule Planner Ready-Reckoner
High/Low Swim Time
HT Insert any time you want here
LT Insert any time you want here
HT Insert any time you want here
LT Insert any time you want here

How to use this tool for swimming in Myrtleville:

Look at the weather and if it’s not too windy or otherwise dangerous – go swimming.

NOTE: This applies at High, Low, Halfway-In, Halfway-Out, Coming, Going, Spring, Neap, Full, Empty and all tides in between. Stay close to the shore and check the tide direction for any longer swims (Church Bay or Fountainstown) but there’s always plenty of water!

Hopefully that’s of use to all Myrtlevillians.

If for any reason you don’t feel like a swim at low tide, there’s an island down West you could go for a walk around 🙂

Open water, sea swimming in Cork, Ireland.

Things you might see on lower tides in Myrtleville.

2.30 Swim Saturday, Jan 2 and Pine Lodge afterwards – 4.00.

Siobhan Russell’s Swim & Photo Diary of the Years’ Swims is always a great recap on the year and a highlight for all swimmers.  She’s premiering the 2015 diary in the Pine Lodge in Myrtleville tomorrow, Saturday, 2nd January at 4.00 pm.

Swim beforehand at 2.30 PM, then Pine Lodge Bar at 4 pm.

Krystals Munchie Van will be there and ready to serve food from 4 pm onwards (pizza, burgers, wraps, chips etc).

All more than welcome to come along – please do if you can: the forecast is good too!!

Vampire Swim, Open water, sea swimming in Cork, Ireland.

Just one of Siobhan’s great pictures from the year.