Ms. Ann Smyth has demanded a right of reply to my Ode and herewith same:

I’m sorry Damian you were right

I think your ode is a load of shite 😂😂

So here is one that I have done

I thought it sounded rather fun

Here’s a bit of Cockney rhyming slang

Why don’t you come to Myrtleville to meet the selkie gang?

They’re a team attempting to swim the channel

It would’ve been easier going through the tunnel

Harry is the first one up

He should be as he’s the pup

Second is the one called Laurence

He really can churn up a torrent

Now along comes dear John Kiely

Dare I say it he’s always smiley.

Then comes short arse Smyth

“Hurry up”, “Oh fuck all this”

Now comes stealth bomber Sisk

She won’t take any risks

Oh look who’s coming up the rear

Watson – shit, she’s only one good ear

That’s the team, the Selkie Six

After the channel – we’ll be in bits