This just in – from roving reporter, Glen Barton.

Withdrawal symptoms from the massively successful Strictly CUH event in Cork Opera are being reported to have caused one stardom-struck dancer to suffer from serious side effects of ‘I’llparkmyaudianywhere disorder’.

Loosely parked Audi prior to its owner’s much-needed swim class therapy this week.

Doctors say our very own Myrtlevillian hero, Marie Watson, is the fourth known case of this kind in Cork, since Friday 18th November.  

Marie at the disorder-causing event.

Symptoms are isolated and usually only experienced in empty car parks. Recovery from these rare cases has been solely as a result of hydrotherapy – along with aquatic therapy techniques including Ai Chi, Aqua Running, Bad Ragaz Ring Method, Burdenko Method, Halliwick, Watsu, and other aquatic bodywork forms.

It is hoped that the patient will make a full recovery and will be rehabilitated to white line realignment parking soon.

Visiting of the patient in CUH Children’s ward is strongly discouraged 🙂