Confusedious, he say: “If a swimmer swims in the sea and there is no Siobhan to take a picture, does the swimmer really swim?”.

Consternation reigned in Myrtleville this weekend.  Would-be swimmers were lined up on the slipway or huddled in groups around the beach, unsure how exactly to proceed, or if the beach was closed.

All Myrtleville regulars know how a swim session at the beach goes.

1. You get changed
2. You walk to the sand – holding your breath
3. Siobhan takes your picture
4. You exhale
5. You enter the water.

What if there is no Siobhan?  What then?  What if Stage 3 can’t happen? How do you proceed?

For many last weekend, it was like being one of those unskilled action figures in Call of Duty or something – hopping up and down vainly in one spot, unable to progress.  Many gave up and went home.  Some swam, but did it with a heavy heart – knowing the swim just didn’t count.  No pic, no swim.

Myrtleville swimming last weekend – without the Russell lens.

Rumours abounded about the Russell absence.  Many believed she was riding the crest of her recent competition success and was gone to Hollywood.  Some scurrilous gossips suggested she was on the tear and Mojitos were involved.  Perish the thought.  Whatever the reason, we must begin an immediate campaign to get her back.

“Return the Russell”, we say!!