It’s lovely when people go on holidays and send us pics of The Hat joining them in idyllic locations. Here’s one from Denis away off in the Rockies. I think he may have found the hat there after it fell out of James Slowey’s bag when he cycled over them on his jaunt across America last year. The pics give us something to remember them by.
However, it seems that Denis may have been active in making sure some of his disciples would remember him through a different means while he was away. Always one to encourage his faithful followers to visit the camps of North Corkorea, news has reached us of his latest torture scheme for those foolish enough to place their trust in the one known as The Don.
An anonymous tipster known only as Paparazzi Magnet was in touch to advise that this notice had appeared at the Knocka freshwater camps last weekend:
All reservoir swimmers. Be careful on entry/exit to the water. We found these thumb tacks in the water this evening on the slip. We picked up as many as we could but there could be more.
Clearly The Dastardly Don was making sure nobody would be enjoying his absence down Knocka way. He looked into spreading Weaver/Weever fish there, but found they didn’t take to the fresh water (who could blame them).
We believe the Condon plan was to claim that the phantom tack scatterer had run for the hills when Denis got back, as the spate of tacks will mysteriously stop once he comes home. Just wait and see. You couldn’t keep up with him.
Watch your feet down in that place. For those not under the Condon spell, stay where God intended – in Myrtleville. In the sea.