The following was anonymously received (from Joanne H) this morning.

Myrtleville Musketeers, a renowned swimming fundamentalist group, have succeeded in capturing solo attemptee Brendan O’Brien. Brendan, a renowned Sandycover, is considered a valuable hostage in ongoing negotiations with Ned and his band of doggy paddling renegades. The Musketeers are striving to bring swimming back to the masses by being all inclusive, going so far as to offer them food and showers after their lap of the dazzling Dutchman.

In exchange for Brendan, The Myrtlevillains are willing to accept custody of 50, 3 legged feral goats, one misshapen Island, the installation of swimming lanes in Myrtleville by the Sandycove “swimmers” and maintenance of same, as well as the renaming of CDW to Myrtleville Fun Swim Camp with Cake.

Offers for Brendan’s release can be made via the triple axis of swimming evil: the Myrtle Turtles, Myrtleville Selkies and Myrtleville Musketeers.